The Year In Review

If you've actually been reading this for a whole year, you will already know that:

In January, I denounced Bryan Lamb as an asshat plagarist, and let the world know that I can't bake bread...
'My bread was so bad... How bad was it?
It was so bad, my son said, "You should throw the bread away, and burn the pan it was baked in, and salt the oven in which it was baked." '

February brought my yearly rant about blood diamonds and an entry about a teacher who left a lasting impression.

March had more on blood diamonds, because I just can't let that go; and if you knew what I know, you wouldn't let it go either. Not until the day comes when not one person has to die so you can decorate yourself with a colorless bauble.

In April, I fooled my husband in the worst way (and I expect I'll pay for it this year) and declared that my ancestresses were weirdos.

May is my birth month, and I spent it ranting about everything (except diamonds). I also did the math on just how much oil is in the Alaskan wilderness.

Chasmyn moved away in June, grandma moved into a retirement home, and 93 voters braved the fire trucks, police officers and news vans, to cast their vote for a new alderperson.

July saw yet another diamond rant, and L went to Disney World without me. :(

August was vacation month, which was worth every bounced check since then (but just barely). Oh, and Missouri proved it's stupidity by voting to define marriage. Stupid-ass people.

In September, I stepped on a slug and somone noticed my cat. It's more exciting than it sounds.

October saw a month of politial blogging, and the Cards lost the World Series.

Can we just skip November? It began with fraud and ended with grandma almost dying... She is recovering and that's a hell of an improvement on the start of the month.

And December, you just read.

Woot!

I'm a published author! I'm a published author! (does happy dance)
Ok, it's a simple article in PDF format for a brand new local pagan Zine... But I'm published! Woot Woot Woot!

If you're interested, you can read my article for The Hearthside Herald on page 2. It's a review of Carondelet Park.

Dreaming...

This morning, I dreamt of how to widen the entry section of my blog. Since I woke with visions of html dancing in my head; I rushed to the computer and began editing.
And it sucked. (sigh)
Oh, it worked allright -if you don't mind a pea green text area and strange lines running through the blog, and corners appearing out of nowhere. I mind.

Then I got the brilliant idea to view the source code on some of the blogs I like and see if I can learn anything. Which I'm doing now. My first stop was Everyday Lunasea, because I haven't added her to my sidebar yet (lazy me), and I like to be methodical. So It hit her page, noted the new christmas decorations, and noticed something else, too.
She's a redhead! And she's a nominee for the BOB awards! And see, I liked her blog even before I knew these things. :)
Anyway... back to da code

Nuts To You

The hubby-man forgot his inhaler this morning, so I groggily delivered it to him at about 10 o'clock. In return (like him being able to breathe isn't enough of a gift) he gave me a can of mixed nuts. I had a few more runs to make before I went home, so I opened the can and started nibbling. Now, maybe my mom used to buy cheap "mixed nuts" or something, because I was expecting 50 peanuts and a cashew or two... But these were real mixed nuts! There were pecans and hazel nuts and cashews and my favorite, brazil nuts!

Which leads me to this entry. I first encountered brazil nuts at my grandma's house. We had lost our home and moved in with her and one day we were cracking nuts at the dining table. I had been playing a game, asking my mom what each kind of nut was, then opening it and setting the nut aside to be sampled once I had one of each. I pulled a large brown nut out of the pile, it was bigger than my thumb. I thought there must be something really good inside. I asked mom what it was, and she said, "That's a niggertoe."
A what? I thought she was kidding, so I asked, "What is it really?"
She insisted that it was a niggertoe, so named because it was shaped (kind of) like a toe, and it was brown. She got another brazil nut out of the pile and said, "Look. It's brown on the outside..." As she cracked the nut open, "And it's white on the inside. It's a niggertoe."

And thus began my education on diversity. My 7 year old brain took it to mean that all people are white underneath.
Look, I'm not proud of this or anything; it's just what happened.
I said, "This isn't really somebody's dried toe, is it?" And Mom said, "It is! And it's good! Eat one!"
Thankfully, one of my uncles came into the room at that point and said, "Your mom is kidding you. That's a brazil nut. It grows on a tree."

So I doubtfully ate it. And you know what? It was good.

Gotta Post

So I wandered across this wonderful mommy blog, Lunasea, and I left a comment. (For those of you not in the know, I rarely comment)
And now I'm in a panic... What if this cool mommy visits here? She's going to see me bitching about arthritis, a long-winded meme, and a story about 5 pounds of coffee before she gets to anything child related.
I've been sharing the coffee wealth, BTW; and every time I grind some beans for a friend, the Hubby-Man grumbles something under his breath about how I'm going to regret it because Tanzania Peaberry doesn't come along every day. And he's a tea drinker!

Anyway, I feel like I have to clean the house before company comes over, if you know what I mean. Because her blog is so darn good. So here it is... The L story I've been avoiding...

We got a letter from CBC high school requesting L's presence for an interview on January 4th. Which means either they're interviewing in alphabetical order, or those letters of recommendation from alumnists put him near the top of the list. I'm a nervous wreck. He needs some decent clothes to wear. He needs a haircut. He needs to know how to conduct an interview. (eek) The first two I can manage, but the interview... He's on his own there. I would be a suck-ass mom if I micro-managed his life. My best advice is, "Be honest. They'll know that CBC is right for you as long as you be yourself. So relax. It's not a thing."

Meanwhile, I shake and twitch inside because I know the only thing I can really do is step back and let nature take it's course. *twitch*

Anybody else out there have a child interviewing for a high school?
Want to give me some advice?
Or consolation??

BTW
I did my PT tonight. I skipped the weights, and my legs shook uncontrollably, but I did 'em! And I'm doing them again tomorrow, dammit; because I want to get to a point where ten pounds of weights is nothing, and I want to not hurt so much. The hubby-man got me glucosamine and chondroitin for Christmas(that we can't really afford) and I've taken it every day since. I'm using the comfrey that I push on everyone else, too.

I'm tired of not being able to drive to the post office. I'm tired of being afraid to walk farther than my neighbor's house, because of the pain. I'm tired of saying, "I can't" to my son... "I can't drive you to Persephone's house, it hurts too much" ... "I can't drive you to Hollywood Video to rent a game with your own money, it's too cold for my knees."

I'm sick of it. And it stops NOW.

Chasmyn's MeMe

A joyous Yule to you, Chasmyn... Like anybody really needs to know three things about me. :)


Three names you go by:
Sharon
M'love (hubby man)
She Dances In Dragon (noone actually calls me this, it's my shaman name, it was given to me, and yes- I think it's cheezy too)

Three screennames you have:
Danceindragon
My real name
um... once upon a time I was Arianna

Three things you love/like about yourself:
my ability to laugh in the face of anger
my hair
my talents


Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
My stomach.
My hair.
My laziness

Three parts of your heritage:
Welsh
Sicilian
Native American


Three things that scare you:
The Bush Administration (same as Chasmyn's)
A wheelchair looming in my future (LOL, do the damn PT excercises, Sharon!)
My son getting seriously hurt

Three of your everyday essentials:
The hubby-man
My son
Coffee


Three things you are wearing right now:
a black velvet asian style jacket
charcoal grey cordorouy stretch pants from like, 1993
black suede boots that my son steals whenever he can

Three of your favorite bands/artists at the moment:
Mannheim Steamroller
TransSiberian Orchestra
Nat King Cole

Three of your favorite songs at present:
Silver Bells
The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)
Carol of The Bells, the South Park version

Three things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Doing my PT at least 3 times a week, all year long
Donating a hand knit item without bursting into tears
Successfully designing and creating a goddess scarf

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
A person I can talk to about anything
Stability
To be cherished above all else
(I have all three, BTW)

Two truths and a lie:
This statement is true
The previous statement is false
One of these statements is a lie.


Three physical things about the opposite (or same) that appeals to you:
His mind (and the use of it)
His penis
His hands


Three things you just can't do:
My goddam PT (a familiar theme, I know)
Keep the house clean
Be on time


Three of your favorite hobbies:
sculpting
knitting
rock finding

Three things you want to do really badly right now:
have another cup of coffee
have younger, stretch-mark free skin
put on more comfortable clothes

Three careers you're considering:
Mom
business owner
Anything that pays the bills

Three places you want to go on vacation:
any natural wonder in Australia
any natural wonder in America
Wales

Three kids names:
Anthony
Galileo
Wendy

Three things you want to do before you die:
See the cure of a chronic illness (any chronic illness will do, so long as it's a cure rather than taking pills for the rest of your life)
see my son grow up and be happy
make the world a better place

Three people who have to take this quiz now or die a slow orgasmic death:
Persephone
Achromic (already did it, but I wish her lots of orgasms anyway)
Nia

I changed the recorded date of this post, because I don't really want this one public. I write this blog for myself, and I plan on printing it all out and passing it on to my family someday. I know how much I learned from photos of and letters from my great grandma. If any of my decendants ever care, I'd like them to have this little piece of me. That's why I write. It's my simple day-to-day stuff, nothing consequential. Yet when I look at my archives, I realize that history has happened all around me; and in my own way I've recorded it. Which leads to this entry -which was actually written on January 7th, 2005.

I spent Christmas day with my family. I did not watch the news. The next day was spent cleaning. Again, I didn't watch the news. I didn't read anyone's blog. I didn't know that there had been an earthquake, or that it had caused tidal waves. I didn't know that more than 160,000 people would die in the water, under the rubble, or (like one person) struck by children on a motorcycle. The children were put on the bike by their father, and told to go. Their parents died. Their home is gone. They have nothing but each other. That and their father's motorcycle.

I learned about them from a "special report" from CNN called "Saving the Children". The devastation is beyond awful.
CNN did a beautiful job on the report. The news media has been showing footage of the waves, of the debris, -of dirty, grieving people dressed in donated clothing. It's heartwrenching. But they're focusing on the material, and that's the wrong focus. I noticed the people in the CNN report. They were grief-stricken or numb, but they were clean. Their skin was healthy. Their teeth were white and strong. We here in America are so used to darker skinned people being portrayed as "starving". The media pushes it so much, that we've come to associate any non-European country with third-world type environment. I didn't see that on CNN. CNN showed people. People who were not malnourished (although they will be soon). Such beautiful people. I wish most Americans looked that good. I've already heard people saying thing like, "Ah, they were starving anyway. They're used to it."
No! They're not! They have a different culture, not a different world. They had jobs and homes and debt, just like America. They had families and schools and healthcare.

If this had happened in America, would you shrug it off after donating a few dollars online? Or would you think it was doubly tragic, because Americans aren't used to poverty -have no traditions to deal with this kind of disaster?

Americans (for all that I bitch about poverty here) are not used to third-world type poverty. Even the poorest American can grow food. There's probably enough material in a landfill to build shelters for 10,000 people.

My point is that the people of the tsunami affected countries once had a life much like our own. They are no more prepared for this than any other country is. We must remember that. We must not let it become cliche'

The life they had is gone; and they can rebuild and have homes, jobs and health again. But only if the rest of the world forgets the stereotype of color.

5 Pounds of Coffee

There's a story by Spider Robinson; part of the Callahan's Crosstime Saloon series, that involves 5 lbs. of really good coffee.
Guess what I got for Christmas?
Five
Pounds
of Tanzania Peaberry coffee beans!

Freshly roasted by Kaldi's Coffee.
Oh, baby!

Some of my family members stared a bit as I opened a bag and started munching on peaberries. They just don't understand. They think Folgers is good coffee, and Millstone is great coffee. Yeah, well... Millstone don't got no Tanzania Peaberry and I do. :P

Now the trick is to use it all before it gets stale. Especially because I like my peaberry blended with Kona and a little bit of Ethiopian beans.
Yes, I'm a coffee snob.

It Finally Happened!
It's 11:42 and my son is still asleep!!! Woo Hoo! He is officially a teenager now!
I'm really glad the worst part of the "must...sleep" phase hit during Christmas break. It will give him more than a week to realize he's going to have to start going to sleep earlier.
Come on, growth spurt!

*update* It wasn't the must...sleep phase, darn it. It was the other part of teenagerhood; he stayed up all night playing a computer game. (sigh)

Can I Get Some Sugarplums Over here?

I've been having nasty dreams recently. My psyche is trying to tell me stuff, and I'm not getting it.

A few nights ago, I dreamt that I was at a resort with my family and President Bush. I spent 3 days just hanging out with the Shrub and his former secretary of state. And, in my dream, Bush was a very likeable fellow. He was the kind of guy that I'd invite to a party, you know?
The lucid part of my brain kept trying to step in and tell the man off, but it just wasn't happening. The dream was filled with a sense of fun, like hanging out with George W. Bush was just the best thing ever. After 3 days, our vacation was coming to an end, and I knew I needed to say what was on my mind before I lost the chance. So I told him, "You're a very likeable fellow. I genuinely like you as a person... But I will never vote for you as president. You have ruined this country and I despise that. You're a great person, but you're a bad politician; the people are suffering. You need to know they are suffering."
As I was speaking my mind, the feel of the dream shifted. The beautiful resort became shadowed, like when clouds block the sun. The air grew cooler and secret service men started talking into their headsets and moving around more.
L suddenly appeared at my side, and it was time to go. The Hubby-Man had already left. He was on his way to somewhere that we could flee to. My son and I ran to the rental car, and there were s.s. agents surrounding it, so we ran across the lawn instead. My dream ended as L and I were dashing across the golf course, knowing that the s.s. agents weren't looking for us specifically; so we would get away without having to harm anyone.

And if you think that's strange...

Last night I dreamt that I was with my mom and dad. Dad was saying how he was sorry he missed out on my growing up, and mom was furious -but trying to be nice. I couldn't care less about what my dad has done for 23 years, or where he's been. I just wanted to know his medical history. I asked him, "How long do women in your family live?" and "Does arthritis run in the family?" (this one I understand, my arthritis has been very, very bad this winter)
Dad rambled on about all kinds of things, but never really answered my questions. Then we were driving somewhere, and for some reason I had to get out of the humvee/jeep thing he was driving. So mom and I got out, then L got out too. We had gotten out near Hodak's
and started walking toward De Sales Church
. As we reached the corner of Ohio and Gravois, mom suddenly yelled, "Run!"
I could hear mom's (mysteriously appearing) transistor radio saying that a race war was happening. Mom gave me the radio and took off toward our old apartment. L and I started running southwest down Gravois. We had gotten no farther than Mary's Fine Foods, and I was considering ducking down the gangway -cutting across the parking lot -and losing ourselves in one of the abandoned buildings; when a young black girl broke from the crowd and stopped us. She said something about hurting us, and she had a reason that made sense to her; but I don't remember it because what happened next was so horrible. She was maybe 11 years old, with a rounded belly and just the beginnings of breast buds. She was a child, and I didn't want to hurt her. I was trying to think of a way to disarm the situation when she stuck her pinky fingers in L's ears. She said something about necessity and justice and then my ears were ringing with pain and L started screaming. I mean really screaming. And he was crying, tears covering his face. And for some reason, all his hair was gone -there was nothing but stubble on his head. (at this point, I woke up gasping; but the dream went on. My mind insisted on continuing the nightmare and finding some sort of resolution)
I was genuinely torn between killing the bitch painfully and trying to comfort my son. So I did both. I grabbed her nearest arm and broke it, then grabbed her throat and squeezed enough to keep her busy trying to breathe. Then I said to my son, "Can you hear me?" He wasn't looking at me, he was crying with his eyes closed. He didn't respond. A hatred welled up in me, the likes of which I've never experienced in waking life. I wanted so much to hold my son, comfort him and try to heal him. Instead I knocked the girl to the ground, put my knee in her throat and carefully broke both of her pinky fingers. My mind said, "That is enough. Tend to your son." But I didn't stop torturing the girl. I rammed my knee repeatedly into her crotch, breaking her pubic bone, then grinding the bones into her flesh.
At this point I woke up again, apparantly I'd fallen asleep. The locical me in my head was horrified. I felt an incredible pressure to STOP, just stop and heal my son! But I couldn't stop. I was afraid she would get up and hurt him again, and I could not allow that to happen again.
Finally I woke for the third time, and was able to take control of my dream.

Like all my bad dreams, I re-dream them until they work out like I want. So I spent the next 40 minutes working through scenario after scenario until my son could hear again.

So... What the hell is up with that??? Why would my subconscious need to create that? What in the world do I need to know so badly that I must dream this kind of awfulness?
I haven't had dreams like this since I was pregnant (understandable), and before that I was a teenager, trying to get a handle on accidentally reading people's minds or any of the other weird things that happened around me as a teen.

Cornell U. Reports, You Decide

Kudos to The Liberal Realist for this link.
"ITHACA, N.Y. -- In a study to determine how much the public fears terrorism, almost half of respondents polled nationally said they believe the U.S. government should -- in some way -- curtail civil liberties for Muslim Americans, according to a new survey released today (Dec. 17) by Cornell University.

About 27 percent of respondents said that all Muslim Americans should be required to register their location with the federal government, and 26 percent said they think that mosques should be closely monitored by U.S. law enforcement agencies. Twenty-nine percent agreed that undercover law enforcement agents should infiltrate Muslim civic and volunteer organizations, in order to keep tabs on their activities and fund raising. About 22 percent said the federal government should profile citizens as potential threats based on the fact that they are Muslim or have Middle Eastern heritage. In all, about 44 percent said they believe that some curtailment of civil liberties is necessary for Muslim Americans.

Conversely, 48 percent of respondents nationally said they do not believe that civil liberties for Muslim Americans should be restricted. "...
"The survey also showed a correlation between television news-viewing habits, a respondent's fear level and attitudes toward restrictions on civil liberties for all Americans. Respondents who paid a lot of attention to television news were more likely to favor restrictions on civil liberties, such as greater power for the government to monitor the Internet. Respondents who paid less attention to television news were less likely to support such measures. "The more attention paid to television news, the more you fear terrorism, and you are more likely to favor restrictions on civil liberties," says Nisbet."

Do I really need to refer to history, here? How many people does it take to insist on a special mark on the driver's license of a certain ethnic or religious group? How long after that before we put the marked AMERICANS in special housing "for their own safety"?
I'm not saying it's going to happen. I'm asking that it not happen.

The Christmas Pageant

L's christmas pageant was tonight and, like good parents we sat through an hour and a half of high-pitched voices and higher-pitched recorders tootling their way through such gems as "Bring a torch (Jeanette... Isabella)"
But it was worth it for the end. The last song was sung by the 8th grade, and involved 7 boys randomly popping up from the back of the group, with giant letter cards. They were hilarious.

Enter the kitsch or How To Horrify Your Wife

Yesterday, the Hubby-Man came home from work with a box and a big, big grin. The box was full of packing wrap, and I could see something sculptural sticking out one end; as if the thing was too big to fit in the box. And let me tell you, it was a big box. I could tell from his grin that this was going to be bad. But I had no idea just how bad until he unwrapped the thing.

Let the suspense build whilst I tell you about my Hubby and his fondness for kitsch. He likes tacky home decorations from the late 60's and early 70's. We have a shag rug that's orange, red, yellow, and cream paisley and swirls. It looks like psychedelic vomit that's been sitting in the fridge too long. We used to have furniture that matched; all earth tones and redwood. Bleah. Over the years he has acquired other atrocities like a wrought iron globe lamp thing that hangs in the corner, 50 million oil lamps, and an octagonal wooden end table with doors like a roll-top desk (only sideways)

And I love him still.

So when he brought this thing home, all I could do was smile and say, "I love you." While fearing where he might display it. Now, I can appreciate the craftsmanship that went into each of these items. I really can. Individually, they're beautiful. But like go-go boots or high heel clogs, they're things that just shouldn't be seen.

So.
If you dare.
Make sure there's nothing in your mouth, or you might choke...
And click this link.

I Heart Internet

simple, common comfrey has 5 separate analgesic chemicals! ascorbic acid, caffeic-acid, chlorogenic acid, selenium and thiamin. Plus the healing properties of allantoin, plus the anti-inflammitory properties of rosmarinic acid
It also has 8 chemicals with antihepatotoxic activity. So how does comfrey cause hepatotoxicity again? Oh, that's right... the roots contain pyrrolizidine alkaloids, and sometimes the leaves do too -although in significantly lower concentrations. Good thing I only use the leaves! To read the whole list, go here.

I worry about the potential hepatotoxic effects of pyrrolizidine alkaloids, so I follow the latest research very carefully. And the lastest research has me stumped. As an example: One dot gov site talks about the 4 deaths from liver failure that have been connected to comfrey usage. The most drastic case drank a few cups of comfrey tea and started having liver problems that eventually led to her death. Yet I find other studies (lots of them) where subjects regularly ingest comfrey and have no problems at all. As another example, the specific pyrrolizidine alkaloids in comfrey were injected into rats, and then the amount of pyrrolizidine alkaloids that was released in their urine and fecal matter was measured. And guess what? Nearly all of the alkaloids were eliminated within 14 hours. Also, comfrey root has up to 20 times more pyrrolizidine alkaloids than the leaves, and about 80% of the time, common comfrey leaves have no pyrrolizidine alkaloids at all (those that do seem to have cross-bred with other comfrey varieties). When used as a topical solution, less than half the alkaloids pentrated the skin. Also, many studies are unclear about which version of comfrey they used for testing. The reports I've found that specify Symphytum Officinale (common comfrey) show no side effects and results that clearly work. Comfrey relieves pain. Comfrey increases mobility. Comfrey speeds healing. I mean there are (finally) actual, scientific, double-blind studies showing the efficacy of comfrey as a topical application. Isn't that great?

A Difference Of Opinion

Achromic is a California liberal :p
And I?m a Midwest moderate :p
And there?s not that much difference between us. :D

But I see from her comment that we differ on the military. She said:
"...The basic jest of my last post that went missing is that, I sympathize with every soldier that is finding out the hard way how little our government cares about them. Out here we just had a new story running about how they were returning to find out they were homeless and unable to find work. See rents out here are exsorbent (1350 for a one bdrm) unless you have rent control, only if you default on paying your rent under rent control then the LL can kick you out and up the rent to market value."

I'm in total agreement here, but in the next bit she and I begin to differ:

"Not only that but as CA was a favorite landing site for the Vietnam vets most people think of soliders as well less then stable (do you really want guy in the cubical next to you be someone that has learned that killing people really isn't that hard?....especially in a high stress environment?)"

And that's why the 'support our troops' magnetic car stickers are selling like hotcakes. As a child of the 80's, I saw far too many homeless veterans; unable to function in a society that had moved on without them. I have one of those stickers on my truck as a reminder to myself that our returning soldiers need understanding. I understand that they've lived through a kind of stress and insanity that most Americans will never experience. And I understand that America will want to sweep them under the rug rather than retrain them. A baby comes into this world with no understanding of the complex and ridiculous rules of society. A returning soldier is much the same way. Although they know the complex and ridiculous rules of society, they have little understanding of those rules anymore. They've just spent a year or more learning to break every rule they've been taught as a child. When they come home, they feel lost and alone. They tend to believe that no one feels like they do. (Which is b.s. by the way. Achromic and I both acutely know that feeling, and neither of us have ever fought a war on foreign soil.)
She goes on:
"No one out here believes that the military does/has any way of deprograming their killers. So they are having a hard time find a job. So they end up on the streets. I feel for them, I do, but I also try to remember that they volunteered for this. We still have a volunteer military and although it is a tough way to grow up, they choose it, and they learn the consequence of not researching the co. they are choosing to keep. In this case they may learn it while watching their best friend die. Tough."

Those last lines are what started this post. Yes, we have a volunteer military. They did volunteer for the possibility of war. Yet the actuality of war is not discussed in polite company. Americans are taught to be proud, flag-waving, idealistic, unthinking sheep.
They join the military as prey, and they come home predators. They also come home with a deeper appreciation of being alive. That deeper appreciation can be harnessed to integrate our soldiers into our society. Former soldiers can do great deeds if society lets them. Or they can be a problem if society shuns them. The one thing they cannot ever be again is sheep.

Stop The Presses!

To give you an idea of just how big the media thinks this is, here are an assortment of headlines. It's been a long time since the media has bothered to make up their own headline for something. They usually just spread around the same title. (CAT EATS DOG! or whatever)

Bush, Rumsfeld Try to Soothe Angry US Troops

Rumsfeld Attempts to Respond to Troop Concerns

Rumsfeld in gun for lack of armour

A Soldier's Grilling (my favorite headline)

Holes open in US armour

Rumsfeld dodges friendly fire

Rumsfeld `Cavalier' on Iraq Gear, Dodd Says, Demanding Answers

Rumsfeld runs into flak from troops in hillbilly armour

Disgruntled soldiers air gripes at Rumsfeld

Rumsfeld under fire from Iraq-bound troops

Soldier's Question Puts Rumsfeld on Spot

Troops put Rumsfeld on the spot

Rumsfeld gets his ear bent

US soldier slams Rumsfeld over safety

Rumsfeld under fire

US troops Rumsfeld's toughest critics

Blunt troops put Rumsfeld on spot

There are a thousand more. 20 years ago, reporters would have been rushing out of the room to the bank of payphones. Nowadays, the room was probably filled with the clicking of laptop keys. You can probably hear it during Rumsfeld's uncomfortable silences. Muahaha.

LMAO

I'm laughing my butt off over this whole Rumsfeld vs. the common soldier thing. (go read the article. There were more disturbing questions voiced.)

(go read it now... I'll wait)

Since I read blogs and such, I was not surprised that the troops are scavenging armor for their vehicles. I thought everyone knew that! And Rumsfeld's response, "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time," just made him look bad. Because even a 3 year old knows we chose to go to war. We chose the timing. We had plenty of time to armor our vehicles. *snort*
Yes, if you're caught off-guard, you go to war with the army you have. And then the country busts it's butt building a stronger, better defended army. Remember those Loony Toons cartoons? The ones made during WW2? I don't see anybody rationing gasoline or collecting scrap metal to be made into armor, do you? I don't see car factories switching to the production of armor, either.

The news media is all over this one, and I'm glad. And it astonishes me that people are astonished by this. Have they been living in a spider hole? How can you not know that families are buying body armor and bottled water for their sons and daughters, husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins because the Army didn't supply it?

In case you didn't read the article, other questions raised were, "What is Rumsfeld and the Army were doing to address shortages and antiquated equipment?"
and
"Many of the soldiers in [a] unit are having trouble receiving all the pay due them, causing problems for families back home who are being pestered by bill collection agencies."

Anyway, I don't think the situation is funny to our soldiers. What I think is funny is the media scramble to cover the story, and the newscasters' surprise that anyone would be interested. They keep trying to change the subject -talk about other news; but their websites are filled with people talking about the horrors of our soldiers having to pick through garbage to keep themselves safe. You go, America! Make Bush Co. uneasy! Make them nervous! I like to see them sweat. :D

Pondering

Red vs. Blue
Why is it that the service States tend to vote Republican? I call them service States because they service our country. I'm talking about farmers and coal miners and factory workers. They consistently get reamed by Republican party policy, yet they continue to vote for Republicans. It makes no sense. Then again, maybe it does make sense. Having been at the bottom of the food-chain myself, dismissed as "stupid and lazy" simply for being poor; being told "Ain't nobody gonna give you a loan for college" because I had nothing to trade with a bank, I think maybe I do understand after all. Republicans feed us sunshine and roses. They tell us things are improving. They offer hope. And when you have nothing, hope looks pretty darn good. The poor value their pride and faith above all else. These are the only things that cannot be taken from them. These are the only things the poor have power over. So they cling to their faith that life can be good; and they cling to their pride as their children fight for their country.
It's not that the poor can't handle bad news. I think the poor can handle it better than most. They're familiar with tragedy. They see it every day. It is a tragedy when you can't feed your child. It is a tragedy when you lose your job, and you're one paycheck away from eviction. Homelessness? Don't even go there. The poor only get a home if somebody dies and leaves it to them, or if the deceased was lucky enough to have life insurance.
If you've never been there, you wouldn't understand. I used to be glad that some people would never experience poverty... but now I think everyone should have a little taste of poverty. They might learn something.

And if this sounds bitter, you're right. I am bitter. I'm bitter for being told I'm worthless, and I get bitter when I catch myself looking down on the poor now. It shocks me when I see how far I've come, and then see how far I have to go before I stop connecting poor with worthless.

New Template

So... I have a new template. I've been using the old one for two years, and what with the commenting problems and all, I decided it was time for a change. I really liked my blue and gold blog. (sigh) But green is good too. The format is certainly easier to read, which should make it easier to customise. You shouldn't have to register or sign in to leave a comment. Just leave a name and any href stuff at the end of your post.

Notice A Difference?
I changed commenting servers, and yes- I know it's still wonky. I'm working on that.

I love you guys' comments. And Haloscan deletes them after a time, so I was looking for something new anyway. I didn't upgrade because I can't remember the email addy I used back then, and I can't remember my name/pw combo either. (sigh)

I checked my blog last night, and some dipwad had put an ad in my comment section. As if that wasn't bad enough, they put it under a post about my hospitalised grandma. That's just bullshit. My site stats showed that somebody had searched for "comments bye haloscan" so I assume a lot of people have this advertisement for s3x t0ys on their blogs, and that's a damn shame.
Haloscan is gone, and with it, all your lovely comments. Sorry about that.

Worth Quoting

From Disinfotainment Today:
"Hatred starts out small and grows and grows. War is the ultimate overreaction, the acme of escalation. There's no further way to express anger. The only place you can go after war is peace." - Abraham Joshua Heschel -

"A submarine could take this place out."
- George W. Bush on the Clinton library -

Lost Post

I blogged this wonderfully long winded post about grandma, and I lost it to line noidz, dammit.
So here's the abbreviated version:
Grandma was doing pooly on Thanksgiving. Her circulation was so bad that her fingertips were purple, almost black. She was sitting up because when she laid down. her blood oxygen would crash. She was mostly behaving like a person in shock.
Yesterday, she was much better. Her fingers were flesh colored again and she was taking part in the conversations we had. Her doctor is keeping her in the hospital for another week. He told us that when she came in, she was "on her death bed". Now it looks like she'll pull through. It's still very serious, because she has an e coli infection in her blood. The antibiotics are working, but they won'te release her until they're sure there will be no recurrance. So...

Thank you for all your paryers, energies, thoughts and comments. Thank you -whoever you are- for lighting a candle for my grandma. Your thoughtfulness was noticed. Thank you all for caring. I believe it made all the difference.

And I Thought This Was A Joke...

Meet the turducken. The most disgustingly all-American food, ever! I actually saw this thing in the grocery store. This turkey shaped monstrosity, proudly labeled "TURDUCKEN". I thought it was Bosnian for turkey, since St. Louis has a lot of Bosnian immigrants, and the grocery stores carry a lot of Bosnian foods now. So I thought somebody was trying to market specifically to our Bosnian immigrants.

I was wrong.

According to Scoop Du Jour, the Turducken was first created by some guy in Louisiana, with the help of his local butcher. He brought in a turkey, a duck and a chicken, and asked the butcher to de-bone them and stuff one inside the other, inside the other. So there you have it. Meat, meat and more meat, with layers of stuffing in between. It feeds 25-30 people and takes 12 hours to cook.
I'm thinking it feeds 25-30 Americans, but would provide protein for an entire village in Africa.
The Hubby-Man asked the truly important question about the Turducken... Why didn't they stuff the chicken with a Cornish Game Hen?

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm thankful for: Life, my family, my readers, snow, my health, comfrey and my friends.
I'm especially thankful for Persephone and Chasmyn, my two best friends -without whom I would be a quivering heap of cranberry jelly right now.

Last year was better.
Last year I woke before the alarm went off, and had fun turkey related adventures.
Last year my house was spotless.

This year, Persephone (goddess bless her!) took my son overnight so I could take half a valium. Persephone is truly an awesome person. She knew I couldn't cope, and she knew I wouldn't ask; so she offered to keep L for the night. She's bringing him back when her family leaves for thanksgiving dinner. I don't even have to pick him up! She's a goddess of giving, I tell you.

So, it's 10:00 and the turkey is not in the oven. The house is not spotless. I still have to pick up the living room, sweep the floors, clean the counters, and mop the kitchen.
I overslept, and jumped when the phone rang. Grandma is having trouble breathing, and the doctors put her on a diuretic. They're hoping that will work. I'm not sure what the whole deal is with that. Grandma had parts of both lungs removed, oh, ages ago. She had recurring pneumonia, and it just ate her lungs up. So they had to take out the bad tissue. I guess what's left of her lungs is retaining fluid? Now that my sister's gone to Conneticut for thanksgiving, we don't have anyone to tackle the doctors and get specific information. I think it's unlikely that Grandma will pull through, and I love everyone at St. Mary's hospital for doing their best anyway.

Grandma Update

She's out of ICU for now. The antibiotics seem to be working well, but she's very frail and her heart is very weak. She's listless, and she isn't focusing well.
My sister was visiting with grandma when the hospital priest came in. He offered Communion, and grandma just stared blankly at him. J said it was like he was speaking a foriegn language. She repeated, "Communion, grandma. He wants to give you Communion." several times until grandma got it. So, she's really not here right now.

We Interrupt This Discussion For An Important Announcement
I really think grandma doesn't want to come to Thanksgiving dinner. I think she doesn't want to sit through a bunch of arguments over religion, politics, and M's divorce. So I don't blame her for choosing to go into the hospital instead of going to Thanksgiving dinner.

Ok, that's about all the humor I can put into this one. Because mom called last night in a panic, to tell me grandma was in the hospital. Mom was really frightened. I could hear it in her voice. She was reaching out to anyone who might "fix" this.
(Some quick background. Usually when grandma goes into the hospital, I'm the last one to know. In the rush to grandma's bedside, my family generally forgets I exist. Sometimes I don't get a call until grandma is on her way home. So to get a call within an hour of grandma going to the hospital is a big deal.)

If you don't believe in psychic stuff, just skip this next part.
So mom was scared, and she called me. I couldn't comfort mom with words, but I could give her more (possibly bogus) information. So I closed my eyes, dropped into light trance, and reached out to grandma. Now, grandma keeps herself well shielded. She doesn't want people messing around with her. She puts herself in God's hands, and she rejects the energies of people who want to "fix" her. I wasn't out to fix her, I was just looking for information; so she let me scan her.
I found the little virus that was causing the problem, nothing deadly -her immune system was handling it just fine. I found the bacteria in her stomach that was causing the vomiting, and she's on antibiotics -those should help. Well, that was what put her in the hospital, so why was mom so worried?
Then I did an overall health scan. Ah, there it is. Her heart is very weak. She's not getting enough oxygen to her muscles. Her liver is full of crap, too. Oddly enough, her kidneys were fine. Usually a liver full of crap means kidney trouble too. But her heart, oh! It felt so tired. And her spirit felt tired too. Grandma was tired of going to the hospital. She was tired of being frail. She was not tired of life, however. I told mom what I'd seen. Mom wasn't surprised at all. She already knew that the big concern was grandma's heart. She just didn't tell me until after I'd done the scan. For an instant, I felt hurt. Here I'd gone against my own ethics, to invade my grandma's privacy, just to appease my mom, and she wanted to play "test the medical intuitive"?! Then I got over it. The thoughts behind the hurt were just stuff I'd made up. They were not what is.
Aunt P was sitting with grandma when I'd done the scan, and she called mom later to say that she'd felt me. Oops. I'm not usually that obtrusive.

At 3:00 this morning, they put grandma in ICU. Her blood pressure had dropped dramatically.
Mom called me first thing in the morning to tell me. She called back while I was taking L to school, and told the Hubby Man that grandma was still in ICU -but they'd stabilized her.

So that's where things stand. Grandma is very tired. Her heart is very weak. She doesn't want resuscitation. Neither does she want unnecessary measures. The whole nursing home is praying for her, along with all her friends, several churches and her family. She is deeply loved. She lights up the room with her presence. She's just that kind of person.

Because there's not enough room in my comments
You guys are sensible here, maybe you could help me with my wording? Here's the thing, I'm a shaman, death doesn't bother me. It's the maiming that bothers me. The marine that killed that wounded man is now, himself wounded. War put him in a position of choosing to kill another person. Now he has to live with it. Prosecuting that marine would give him the opportunity to acknowledge what he did. Rushing to his defense, saying "Don't pick on him! He had to do it!" effectively pushes the act under the rug. I know it's more comfortable to not think about it. I know it's easier to ignore it. And these soldiers cannot ignore what they've done.

I'm not interested in the right or wrong of the deed itself. I'm interested in facilitating the healing afterward. I'm not sure how to go about it, though. I know that things must be kept open. They must be discussed, rather than hidden away. And every time I try to discuss it here, I talk about war and death. Really, it's not the war and death I want to talk about. It's the people who are still here. The children who've lost a parent (or both parents), the parent who's lost a child. Worse yet, the people who've lost limbs -lost friends -lost civility. The misery makes me miserable. These poor, poor people who have to somehow go on, pretending to fit in a society that doesn't want to look at their loss.

On a side note: If the Iraqi people are animals, it is because oppression and war made them that way. Our American government has a part in that. The American people who gleefully cheer on the war have a part in that. The so-called pacifists who shout in anger "Not in my name!" have a part in that. And sadly, I have a part in that. I want to own my small piece of it. I will not shy away from the destruction. I will listen when someone needs to grieve. I will care. I will love. (but, god it's hard to love a hater)
Already I find myself trying to wiggle out of my commitment. I think to myself, "Haters aren't looking for healing, so I don't have to love them." I don't want to take the risk there. I don't want to be laughed at. I don't want to embrace their hate. Anger I can handle, but not hatred.
See how I changed the subject there? I don't want to be laughed at. I want to be valued. I have issues with worth.

Rather Righteous Redhead Speaks

Patrick commented on my entry One Question: "You may as well ask how one can be pro-choice (or pro-death, to be uncharitable) and still be anti-war. While I'm deeply conservative, I sometimes think I'm the only American who doesn't give a hooter's damn whether or not abortion is legal, because I think it's a non-issue. That said, an infant child is harmless. An Iraqi with a satchel bomb or an Arab on a hijacked airplane is a bit of a different story.

It's not so easy to cubbyhole people into one-size-fits-all boxes, Sharon. You're brighter than that by now, as we all know, so I wonder why you made this rather self-righteous post. Smiles."

I take no offense, and I thought a little background might clarify my question. My son is not fond of news radio, but the second he's out of the truck, I turn it on. In the mornings, I listen to NPR. In the afternoons, I listen to 97.1 FM Talk -a Fox news product. Why do I listen to that trash? You may wonder. I like to know my enemies. I like to know what kind of hatred and lies are being spread. And, that day 97.1 was talking about Falluja. People were calling in from all over to rant about how wrong it is to want to hold a soldier accountable for killing a wounded, unarmed, old man. These people were angry. Not because of the act, and not because it was caught on tape; but because the "Evil Left Media" wasn't supporting our troops.

I beg your pardon? And should we support our citizens when they break the law? I didn't hear anyone on Fox supporting Scott Peterson. I don't hear them supporting the drive-by shooters. Oh no. Those people are called terrorists. Specifically, they're called narcoterrorists.

I'm ranting, I know. Anyway, a caller ranted about the killer marine and then went on to espouse his pro-life views. The radio host actually encouraged the rant. So more people called in and went down the pro-life road. Almost all of them agreed that it was wrong to prosecute the marine, we need to support this war; and that it's wrong to have an abortion. Yeah, don't kill those American fetuses... but it's great that we're killing Iraqis.
Whatever.

On The Streets of St. Louis

I found a marvelous St. Louis blog named STL Streets. I like all his entries, so I've added him to my side bar.
One of his posts was about catching a mouse, and it reminded me of the mouse incident in Boston. So here's the story:

When I went to Massacheussetts to give birth to W, I stayed with an adopting family. They had two children; a newborn, and a girl about the same age as my son. I had specifically requested a family without toddlers. I didn't want a daily reminder of what I might be missing out on at home. C'est la vie. You get what you get, and I hope the experience was as good for the family as it was for me. Anyway, one night I'm awoken from a typical pregnancy dream by Anonymous Mom screaming like crazy.
She had spotted a mouse.
Anonymous Dad didn't know what to do; but his wife was in distress, and he was a Manly man, so first thing in the morning he bought a bunch of mouse traps. He baited them with the best cheese in the house, a nice hard cheddar. He checked the traps several times a day, and invariably, the cheddar would still be sitting there.
Anonymous Mom and Dad were baffled. They had never encountered mice before, and had no idea how to really catch one. They thought the glue traps were too freaky, and were afraid a humane trap would mean having to handle a filthy rodent; so they stuck with the spring-loaded trap of doom. They tried switching baits a few times. Each time they thought up a new treat to tempt their finicky mouse, I said, "Try peanut butter."

Eventually, after it was clear that nothing was working, Anonymous Dad baited one trap with peanut butter. He probably did it just to shut me up.
That night, a little after 1:00, I heard the trap spring. *clack*
It echoed through the house. It woke everyone but the baby. I stayed in my room and pretended to be asleep while I eaves dropped on the ensueing conversation:
AM: I heard a trap! Do you think we caught it? Ew ew ew!
AD: Probably not, but I'll check anyway. You stay here. This might be gross.
*footsteps*
AD: Oh! My! God! Oh, disgusting! *laughter*
AM: What? Did you catch it? What's funny?
Anonymous Child: Did you catch the mouse, Daddy? Can I see?
AD: (to child) No honey, you go back to sleep. (to wife) We caught it, alright. The trap broke it's back... and it's still eating the peanut butter!
AM: I feel sick. No! Don't show it to me! No! I'm not looking, just get rid of it!
AD: (sigh)I love you, you know.
Anonymous Dad got rid of the mouse, and re-baited the trap in case there were more. About 40 minutes later, the trap sprang shut again.
AD: Ew! It got it's face! There's blood everywhere!
AM: Just throw the whole trap away!
AD: Yeah. I'm going to bait 'em all with peanut butter, ok?
AM: Good idea.

I got no sleep that night, as you can imagine. Nor the next night. It took 5 days to catch the whole infestation. It was an amusing time.

So. If you have mice, bait your traps with peanut butter. It works!
Also try putting your people and pet food in sealed containers.

Playing In The Surf

Just fascinating stuff here. I particularly get a kick out of Armageddon Online, where they cover everything from the supervolcano in Yellowstone, to alien invasion. One could spend hours on this site.
I enjoyed some guy making fire without matches a'la Tom Hanks in Castaway, The Nightmare Project -which records nightmares, and Dumb Missouri Laws.
I also found links to Responsible Shopper.org listing the good, the bad and the ugly of corporate America, and The God Checker, a searchable directory of deities.
Enjoy!

One Question

How can you be pro-war and pro-life at the same time?

I asked my mom this question before the election, and it stumped her. I think it bears repeating.

Searching For An Old Friend

Thank you, Persephone, for helping me find that old friend tonight. Diligent searching of the internet found a one hit wonder blog entry, and his name in a few old military papers. No pictures, so I can't be sure it's him... yet I knowit's him. You know how you just know, sometimes?

He reenlisted in September.

Why, Terry, Why? (grief)

I've been looking for him on and off for a long time. I worry, you know? I'm currently searching for a way to send him a letter. Anybody know who I would contact in the Air Force, to send a letter to an old friend?
Anybody know a guy named Terry, with an infectious smile and curly brown hair, who went to VAPA, and who's a staff sergeant in the Air Force? If you do, tell him there's a little redhead in Missouri who never forgot him.
I just have a feeling that he would like to hear that.

Spoiler Free Movie Review

Last weekend, we saw The Incredibles. This weekend, we saw it again.
I rarely pay theater prices to see a movie twice. The Incredibles was worth it. Both times.
You know how some movies are great the first time, but suck the second time because you know what's coming? Well, we knew what was coming, and it was still great. In some ways it was better, because I could hear the audience's reactions.
I know it's Disney... but see it anyway.
One note though... please leave the toddlers at home. It's not appropriate for toddlers.

A Voting Story

My mom is an election judge, and sometimes she will share interesting voting stories with me. This one was so good, I just had to share it with you...

St. Louis offers curbside voting to people who can't, due to disability, get into the polling place. On November 2nd, she had 4 calls for curbside voting. It's a nuisance for the other voters, because the signature book must be taken outside to the curbside voter; while everyone else in line waits. A judge also brings out a ballot booth, so the voter can place their votes. All this takes time, but the people in line were very understanding. After all, it's hard to get out of your car and into your wheelchair and up a flight of stairs, right?

So, in the middle of the evening rush; a young man walks in and asks for curbside voting for his brother. Mom picked up the signature book, and explained to the waiting crowd that she was sorry, but they would have to hold on a few minutes while she took the book outside for curbside voting. Some in the crowd grumbled, but most were patient. The brother looked at the line and said, "Hang on, I got a friend with me and we might be able to carry him in, if you promise he can go to the front of the line."
There were shouts of, "Absolutely!" "Bring him in!" and "Yes! Let the man vote!"
People left their places in line to hold open the doors, and a few minutes later they brought him in. His brother and the friend held him while he signed his name, and they held him while he voted. They held him because he couldn't stand. Both his legs were gone.

Mom doesn't speculate as to why his legs were missing, or why he didn't simply cast an absentee ballot. He voted, and that's all that matters.

I Voted For John Kerry, And All I Got Was This Lousy Sticker



Thanks for letting me know how much my vote means to you.

Democrats are angry. Democrats are despairing. Why aren't we rioting in the streets? Are we lazy? Or do we actually care about others' personal property? We know that trashing our own neighborhoods won't help. But look how well the rabid republican tactics worked. Remember 2000, when they clogged the halls and beat down doors to disrupt the recount?
We need to stand up in unison and make it clear -NO MORE! America is a republic, not a theocracy. Bush needs to be impeached.
There are legal processes. We need to use them. Impeach President Bush
Write a personal letter to your Representative. If your Representative is a Republican, ask your friends in a Democratic district to write to their representative. Articles of Impeachment are all over the internet, and it's not working. Which is why we need to write personal letters. In ink. On paper. Sent with a stamp, rather than a mouse click. If enough people demand impeachment, it will happen. It worked for the republicans when they attacked Clinton. It will work for us too. Impeaching the president served to strengthen their base. The Democrats will not strengthen their base by rolling over and showing their bellies.

I still believe in America. I still believe in democracy. I believe we can win, but first we have to try to win. We must be united in a common cause.

This is my cause, and I hope you share it with me. Impeach Bush for his crimes against his people. Help me spread the message.

Write to your Representative
Ask for impeachment
Keep asking

God Damn You All

Damn you to the hell you believe in. And damn you Kerry for giving in so easily. You're all stupid. I hope you enjoy the world and life you've just voted in for your children. I hope you enjoy your economy. I hope you enjoy your security. I hope you enjoy your war. You asked for it. Now you have to live with it.

Post Vote Roundup

Yes, I voted for Kerry. I also voted no on every amendment except the one to raise the fine for littering. Having covered the important stuff, here's how my voting experience went:

I left the house and spotted my next door neighbor. I called out, "Didja vote yet?" And she replied, "I was just going to do that now!" So I hitched a ride with her. Woo, less walking for me!
There were no lines out in front, and only one person handing out leaflets. He had the standard green "sample ballot" that tells you to vote Democratic, and a yellow NO on ABCD. My neighbor took a set, but I said I didn't need one. We went inside and stood in a short line to be recognised and get our ballots. Then we stood in a much longer line to use one of the 7 voting "booths". I won't ever think of them as booths. They're really podiums with a privacy wall. The wait wasn't bad at all. I chatted with my neighbor for a bit, and then I got out my tub of migrane miracle and smeared some on my forehead. Crowds usually give me a headache.
The lady behind me asked me if I was using an herbal thing, and the rest of the wait in line was spent discussing herbs. So, although I stood there for 20 minutes; the time just flew by.
The actual voting was a breeze. I slid my ballot in and flipped to the second page. (since I wasn't voting a straight ticket) Right there at the top were my choices for President. John Kerry, George Bush, some libertarian, and a fourth person. I lifted the pokey thing and was filled with an irrational fear that I would punch Kerry, but the ballot would show Bush. I struggled against the compulsion to pull the book out and make sure the ballot number matched the book. It was stupid. I knew it was stupid. And the fear was there nonetheless. I've never had that happen before.

I mastered my irrationality and punched Kerry. The rest was easy. Yes, yes, no, no, no, this judge stays, that judge goes, etc. I checked my ballot for hanging chads, and the card was clean. So I folded it over and dropped it in the box.

I was home by 10:00.

Blogging The Vote, the Pre-Game Show

Late getting out of the house, L was late for school. Dropped him off and rushed to my sister's place. She needed me to wait with her daughter for the school bus, so she could vote before work. Haven't seen any long lines yet, but the news is filled with stories of ridiculous voting lines.
Parking is always difficult at my polling place, so I'm walking the 3 blocks to the church where I cast my vote. I'm waiting 'til after 9:00, in the hopes that there won't be much of a wait. With the cold, rainy weather today; my arthritis won't enjoy an hour in line.

I have more vote related news, but of a personal nature. I finally told my mom about the thing I was(am) so upset about. The thing I won't talk about here. My mom is an election judge, and this time around she's an election supervisor. I believe this requires a level of integrity, and a certain clarity of mind. I'm not sure how qualified she is for the job. She was thinking about encouraging people to use provisional ballots because they come with a receipt. That's a nice idea, except that Missouri won't even look at cast provisional ballots unless the election is very close.
I set her straight. Registered voters who show up in the book must vote the regular way. Provisional ballots are only for people who are not in the book.
Mom did do one smart thing. She brought a tape measure and some chalk, and marked out a 25 foot radius around the doors. Last election they had a lot of trouble with people representing various political parties. They kept crowding and sometimes blocking the doors. That's bullshit. Nothing should impede voting. So this time, the boundaries are clear. At least until the rain washes the chalk away.

NaNoWriMo
Today begins National Novel Writing Month, and this year I'm trying my fingers at it. Yes, I'm bravely attempting to type 50,000 words in 30 days. That's over 1,666 words a day. Almost 70 words an hour. Do you think I can do it? Or do you think it's yet another thing I'll never finish?
Hey, at least I'm voting.

Happy Halloween
Overheard tonight: "Right. I'm supposed to be tackboy now."
Said by my son, directed to Persephone's eldest daughter. My ears did a double take before it sunk in that he was handing her thumb tacks to put up Halloween decorations.

I've been getting a lot of hits about the alphabet amendments (A,B,C,D) so I'm trying not to post until after the election. I don't want the links and commentary to scroll too far down the page. To those of you who are looking for info on A B C and D, thank you for coming! Thank you for caring! Thank you for voting!

Cardinals Fans

When we were winning, we cheered.
When we were losing, we cheered harder.
We support our team through it all.
And when the Red Sox swept us
we were sad. And we were happy for the Sox.
There was no rioting, no fights, no bitterness.
That's why Cardinals fans are the best fans in the world.

More On Home Rule

They've put up yet another website promoting their amendments. Only, now they're calling them propositions. In St. Louis voting, propositions are for issuing bonds, or increasing funding for parks. Proposed changes to the city charter are called amendments. Why the fan dance? What does Home Rule have to hide?
Well, let's see...
Replacing the comptroller with a "director of finance" (hired by the mayor), but letting us still elect a comptroller -who's new job will be to keep a register of all delinquent and special tax bills until the bills are paid. Nice way to bleed all the power out of the office, while snookering St. Louisans into thinking they have some choice about our city's finances.

Home Rule says "Professionals will be managing your tax dollars: gives the aldermen a professional staff to analyze the budget" Analizing the budget is one of the things we elect our aldermen to do. They're qualified to do it themselves. They don't need a 'professional' (i.e. paid with our tax dollars)staff

"• An independently elected comptroller will be a true government watchdog: gives the comptroller the power to conduct both fiscal and performance audits of all city departments, like the State Auditor does now" Pure fiction. He can watch, but that's about it.

"• Requests for development assistance will be reviewed by the comptroller: the comptroller will review and comment on the financial documents of all projects greater than $500,000 seeking tax incentives" Review and comment?

"• Citizens can hold ONE person responsible when things don’t work: every major city financial decision is the result of a deal struck by the Board of Estimate and Apportionment. Eliminating the Board allows the mayor to run city government out in the open with no excuses when things don’t work." We can hold one person responsible, but we can't fire him or her. The board of E&A is made up of 3 elected officials. WE choose them to provide checks and balances to our city's finances. Why give up that power?

Even More Home Rule

The city office reorganization amendment makes 7 elected officials non-elected officials. Thanks, I like to vote. It lumps them all together in one department and creates a new job -a head of the department. More of my tax dollars paying an unnecessary salary. Where is all this money going to come from?

Home Rule says, "? Reduces red tape at City Hall: large segments of city government will finally be streamlined to allow for the creation of more ?one stop? transactions for residents and businesses" We can streamline things without altering our charter

"? Protects current city employees by making them non-political Civil Service workers with the same benefits, retirement and seniority: no city hall workers will lose their jobs as a result of Amendment C" We can protect them without altering our charter

"? Creates the position of Chief Administrative Officer (CAO) to oversee the day-to-day operations of all city departments: the CAO must meet strict employment requirements and be approved by the Board of Aldermen" My tax dollars at work, what about my vote?

"? Requires the mayor and CAO to hire a Recorder of Deeds, Collector of Revenue and Treasurer as members of the Department of Finance, and holds them accountable for their job performance" Oh, there's my vote! Wait... I won't have that anymore...

"? Requires the judges of the 22nd Judicial Circuit to hire a Circuit Clerk, Sheriff and Public Administrator: they will serve as the administrative branch of the state?s busiest court system, and will be directly accountable for their performance to the judges who require their services" I have no problem with this little bit. It should be on our next ballot

Yet more Home Rule

The civil service amendment is a fuzzy bit of legaleze that appears to say nothing. It actually opens the door to alter out city charter further. You see, first Home Rule passed a measure to "let us" change our city without asking all of Missouri to get involved. Now they're pushing changes that put most of the power in the hands of the mayor. Now think about the mayors we've had over the years... Would you want to give them 80% control over the city? I wouldn't.
Home Rule says it "• Creates a more effective and more modern public sector workforce to serve residents better" But doesn't say how

"• Allows the Civil Service Commission to recommend changes of personnel policy to the Board of Aldermen, who will act as the people’s representatives, and save the cost of a municipal election" Letting a non-elected comission represent us? I think not!

And The Home Rule Kicker presented to you when you're numb from reading all the other ones...

The board of aldermen amendment (snort)reduces the number of aldermen to 15, and allows them to select their own president of the board of aldermen. The president of the board of aldermen becomes mayor, in the event that the current mayor can't serve out his/her term. That's why we currently vote in the president of the board of aldermen.

Home Rule says, "• Makes the Board of Aldermen a stronger body that will have the power and authority to be a true check and balance on the mayor’s office: the role of individual aldermen will be strengthened by a reduction in their number" St. Louis' neighborhoods are very secular. They have individual needs, which is why we have so many aldermen. Also, shrinking the aldermen will eliminate the need for redistricting. If we have less aldermen we won't have to worry about that heinous black vote anymore. Sorry, Home Rule. I like that everyone's vote counts. I'll keep our aldermanic count as it is, and ensure that all St. Louisans get representation.

• Streamlines the board by gradually reducing the number of wards to 15 between 2013 and 2015: only New York and Chicago have more aldermen than St. Louis So?

• Allows the President of the Board to be elected from the ranks of the Board, like the Speaker of the House in Washington, or the State House in Jefferson City But the speaker of the house is not next in line for the presidency. Our president of the board IS next in line for the office of the mayor.

Lookie!
I made pretty pictures for my side bar!
See? Pagans for John Kerry and Stop Bush.
Yay!

Thank You Universe

Sarah has been selling my shea butter with comfrey and lavender at Soulard Market. Last weekend, a couple stopped at the table and the wife dabbed a bit on her arthritic hands. They walked away, and then they turned around and came back; because her hands had stopped hurting. They bought a tub and came to my website. This savvy couple researched comfrey (they were already familiar with shea butter -like I said, savvy)and this week they contacted me. (woot) They would like to mass distribute my comfrey oil! They bought all my stock! (ok, so it was only 5 bottles, but it was my entire stock. I am so excited. Words don't describe the uplifted, hopeful feeling I have right now. Ever since I started working with comfrey, I've thought it should be in every medicine cabinet. It's not a miracle cure, but by god it's a help.

It has never been my intention to get rich selling an herbal ointment. My goals are a lot simpler. I'd like to help pay for L's schooling, and if I make a lot of money, I'd like to fund some studies on comfrey and/or arthritis. I'd like to find out what it is in comfrey that causes the pain relief. I'd like to see a cure for arthritis in my lifetime. A real cure, even if that puts The Earth's Cauldron out of business. Would I trade my small business for a cure? You bet I would. In a second. I don't even need to think about that one.

So I'm hope filled.

I discussed pricing with the couple that want to distribute my oil. We are on the same page. Senior citizens generally have a fixed income, and it's never enough. If you charge too little, people won't use it. If you charge too much, those with the greatest need can't afford it. We both agree, make it affordable.

Now the only problem is the plastic containers. I do use a plastic that is easily recyclable, and it has some recycled plastic mixed in. But I'd like to do better. Glass roll on bottles aren't practical for the consumer. They don't come in the right size, they're heavier to ship, and they're breakable. (sigh) One step at a time, I guess.

Also, I bought a gallon of extra virgin olive oil yesterday and ordered 30 more roll-ons from Camden Grey. I so highly recommend them for manufacturers. They are truly great people.

I'm Back!

Wow did a week without internet suck. No neopets games, no blogging, no news, and no reading blogs about how much the Cardinals rock. (sigh) I missed it all.
However... I did get the house clean. And I got farther on L's costume. And I made a pretty picture.


Some guy came to my door last week, polling for John Kerry. He offered me a yard sign. I told him I would love a Kerry yard sign! I haven't heard from him since. I wonder if I'll ever get my sign? I mean, I have this wonderful 30 ft. hill to display it on and everything. It's an ideal location! I want a yard sign. I kind of suspect he was working for the other side, and that I'll never get it.

The Stealth Amendments or how Home Rule wants to screw us

Every day I drive my son to school, I pass signs reading "NO on amendments A B C D"
I see them in yards with Bush signs, and I see them in yards with Kerry signs. I see them in yards where it is the only sign. I went to the St. Louis ballot measures site, and they had nothing. So I searched the Post Dispatch Online. They had a lot of opinion, and several articles with a one paragraph description of the amendments; but not the actual amendments -or even their legal summary. I've been looking all week (when I should be out job hunting) and FINALLY, I found it. Kudos to The Arch City Chronicle for listing these very bad amendments.

Citizens for Home Rule, aka Advance St. Louis, aka Empower St. Louis, wants broad sweeping changes made to the St. Louis City charter. A few (a very few) of the proposed changes are a good idea. Unfortunately, they're blanketed with bad ideas.
When you go to the polls in November, here's what you'll see:

(Board of Aldermen Amendment)
Shall the Charter of the City of St. Louis be amended in accordance with the Board of Aldermen Amendment Ordinance?

This amendment restructures the Board of Aldermen of the City of St. Louis as a body of fifteen Aldermen representing fifteen wards, provides for the Board of Aldermen to select its President from its membership, provides for a transition schedule to implement the restructuring, and other related matters, all as set forth in the ?Board of Aldermen Amendment Ordinance,? a copy of which is available at all polling places.
YES [ ]
NO [ ]


(City Finance Amendment)
Shall the Charter of the City of St. Louis be amended to restructure the finance offices and functions of the City of St. Louis in accordance with the City Finance Amendment Ordinance?

This amendment restructures the finance offices and functions of the City of St. Louis by providing for financial and performance audits and budget review by an elected independent office of Comptroller, providing for professional budget staff for the Board of Aldermen and authorizing the Board of Aldermen to adjust budget line items, establishing the Director of Finance as head of the Finance Department and of the Budget Division and outlining the powers and duties of the Director of Finance, and other related matters, all as set forth in the ?City Finance Amendment Ordinance,? a copy of which is available at all polling places.
YES [ ]
NO [ ]


(Civil Service Amendment)
Shall the Charter of the City of St. Louis be amended in accordance with the Civil Service Amendment Ordinance?

This amendment adds one new section to Article XVIII of the Charter of the City of St. Louis, pertaining to Civil Service, which allows for further amendment of Article XVIII by ordinances recommended by the Civil Service Commission of the City of St. Louis and approved by the Board of Aldermen of the City of St. Louis. The amendment excepts the following sections of Article XVIII from the process of amendment by ordinance: Section 6, captioned ?Civil service commission,? Section 7, captioned ?Commission powers and duties,? Section 17, captioned ?Political assessments and contributions,? Section 18, captioned ?Promises of official influence to affect political action,? Section 19, captioned ?Political activity of classified employees,? Section 22, captioned ?Penalties for violation,? Section 27, captioned ?Partial invalidity of provisions,? and Section 31, captioned ?Fire department.? The procedures for amendment to Article XVIII by ordinance will be an alternative to any other procedures for charter amendment or revision provided by the constitution and laws of the state of Missouri or by other provisions of the Charter of the City of St. Louis. The proposed amendment also addresses other related matters as set forth in the ?Civil Service Amendment Ordinance,? a copy of which is available at all polling places.
YES [ ]
NO [ ]


(City Office Reorganization Amendment)
Shall the Charter of the City of St. Louis be amended to reorganize certain city offices in accordance with the City Office Reorganization Ordinance?

This amendment adds a new Article XXVI to the Charter of the City of St. Louis to incorporate into said Charter the present offices of Recorder of Deeds, Collector of Revenue, License Collector, Treasurer, Circuit Clerk, Public Administrator, and Sheriff, and reorganizes the number, kinds, manner of selection, terms salaries, powers, duties and functions of said offices, provides for a chief administrative officer to supervise, administer, and report to the mayor on the operations of said reorganized offices and other city offices, provides opportunity for the present staff of the offices proposed for reorganization to become employees of the City of St. Louis, with their individual seniority and compensation unaffected, provides and for the effective dates of such changes upon the expiration of the terms of office of the current holders of the offices proposed for reorganization. The proposed amendment also addresses other related matters as set forth in the ?City Office Reorganization Ordinance,? a copy of which is available at all polling places.
YES [ ]
NO [ ]
-----------------------------------------------------
What it all means:
1. The Board of Aldermen Amendment drops 10 Aldermen and takes away our vote for aldermanic President. Right now, we vote citywide for the Aldermanic President because he's the Vice-Mayor, so to speak. If something happens to the Mayor, the Aldermanic President becomes the Mayor. That's why WE vote. Also, each Alderman currently has a reasonable territory. Each neighborhood feels represented. If we cut the number of Aldermen by 2/5ths, we cut our representation. Who will suffer if (say) Carondolet, Holly Hills and Mount Pleasant all have the same Alderman? Perhaps Mount Pleasant? Since they have the least amount of businesses, and the lowest property values? Even though Mount Pleasant is actively bringing in and supporting small businesses, and even though they have had a bigger increase in property value than Holly Hills.

2. The City Finance Amendment replaces the Comptroller (an elected official) with a (hired) Director of Finance. Oh, we'll still vote for comptroller, and somebody will still get a paycheck, but they won't have any power. The new Director of Finance will be hired by the Mayor, eliminating the check and balance provided by the Comptrollers office. It also replaces the board of estimate and apportionment with simply the Mayor. (the board of E&A is comprised of the mayor, the aldermanic president and the comptroller. They don't get extra pay, so we're not saving St. Louis any money by getting rid of them) This amendment removes the salary limits that are currently in place and allows the director of finance to hire as many people as he sees fit.

3. The Civil Service Amendment changes what the aldermen can amend. If this piece of trash passes, the Aldermen can not chance anything relating to ?Civil service commission,? ?Commission powers and duties,? ?Political assessments and contributions,? ?Promises of official influence to affect political action,? ?Political activity of classified employees,? ?Penalties for violation,? ?Partial invalidity of provisions,? and ?Fire department.? Do I even need to go into why this is bad?

4. The City Office Reorganization Amendment lets the mayor hire the recorder of deeds, instead of letting us elect him/her. It lets the (not yet existent) director of finance hire the collector of revenue/license collector and treasurer -instead of letting us elect them. (So the mayor hires the director of finance, who hires the collector of revenue/license collector and treasurer. All the money in the hands of the mayor; no votes for the people.) The circuit court will appoint the circuit clerk (I have no problem with that one) and the public administrator (whom I know nothing about) The sheriff will also be appointed (rather than elected) by the circuit court WITH CONFIRMATION BY THE MAYOR, and a new position of chief administration officer will be created over all. (One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them?)

Obviously, I'm voting no on each of these amendments. I want a mayor, not a king. I want decent representation, not an over stretched alderman. I want to vote people into office, and have the option of removing them if need be.

To read the amendments in full, go here and scroll down to the May 27th entry. It's currently the 10th entry. Follow the links to the individual amendments.

A Minute In My Shoes

I'm not even asking for a mile. Just one minute you rabid, sign waving, so-called pro-lifers. The 60 seconds of my life when I called an adoption agency for help.

I'd like you to live that; so that the next time you protest, you'll have a little compassion. Your hatred and fear forwards nothing.

So I'm Reading
"The Boy Who Cried Iraq" which, I'm sure everybody else has already read. I'm always late to the party.
Anyway, I'm at the part where the case is made for the Iraq war being an Oil War.
I just want to say... Nobody goes to war for condiments. Nobody kills civilans to make sure we have enough ketchup -or catsup, for that matter. Vote for Kerry.

Also, Crusoes Restaraunt in South St. Louis, where you can get a fabulous meal for a reasonable price, and drink some damn fine beer if you have the inclination; is having a Ketchup war right now.

Your meal comes with a token, which you can put in one of two tubs. Tub A has a bottle of Heinz ketchup over it, tub B has a bottle of All-American ketchup (I don't know the brand)
Right now the tubs are about equally full.

An Interesting Conversation

Mom has been calling a lot recently. I'm not sure why, because I've been pushing her buttons since August. I'm terribly conflicted about something she did in August. Something I find so unethical... but that's a different story. Suffice it to say, since she did that thing, the gloves are off. I've been using everything she herself taught me to remind her that she once was a decent, reasonable, humane person. I've been making very little headway. But last night, I got her to think for a minute.(obviously, I'm pissed about something, but I don't want to talk about it here.)

It started with this question from me:
"I want to ask you a question, mom. I've heard it floating around for a while, and I know there's no real answer, but I want to ask anyway, ok?"
"Ok," She says.
"Ok." Says I. "So you know Bush is pro-life, right? To the point of banning new stem cell lines, etc... And you know Bush is pro-war. He attacked Afghanistan to wipe out Al-Qaida, then he attacked Iraq, and he's got other countries lined up... you can check it all over the internet. I mean real sources, not just bloggers stating their opinions"
I did a bad thing, there. She'll never check the internet, or even her local paper. Finding "proof" of that sort is not easy. There are very, very few reputable sources. So I scammed her. My bad. But then I went on...
"So knowing that... How can someone be pro-life, and pro-war at the same time?"
I had her where I wanted her, -tackling a puzzle. Mom can't resist a puzzle, muahaha. See, mom won't vote for Kerry because he's Catholic, yet he votes pro-choice. I have pointed out time and again that as a Representative, it's his job to vote the way the majority of his constituents want him to vote. Mom's one reason for voting Bush is that he's pro-life.
She worked her way through my philosophical question and concluded that he is not pro-life, he is simply anti-abortion. Score!
The subject was changed, and she started telling me about a booklet she'd found at Grandma's place. It was an explanation of the beliefs of Jehova's Witnesses. She was all outraged over their beliefs. Which led, in a roundabout way, to discussing her son-in-law. The Jewish one, not my Discordian Hubby.
Her son-in-law does not want his children to receive religious gifts. No angels or crosses, thank you. No praying teddy bears or books about Jesus. That's his right, and it drives mom crazy. She offered him a deal. She said, "I'll read your book, if you read mine."
O!M!F!G!
She's all upset because her Jewish son-in-law will talk respectfully with her about Jesus, but won't call him "Christ". (sigh) So I explained it to her. In very simple terms. If I'm inaccurate, please leave a comment correcting me. I would hate to spread disinformation about a religion; and I admit I know little about Judaism. I told her that the Jews believe Jesus was a prophet. They do not believe he was the Messiah. Because he died. He didn't do what their teachings said their Messiah would do.
She didn't get it.
I told her they don't believe in heaven or hell -as a place to go when you die. They believe they are here to glorify God. Their lives are a gift from God. And when they die, that's it. It's why they bury without embalming. Why all parts, including their blood, goes into the earth. (I don't know their views on cremation) "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" and all that. Their body is God's body.
She kind of got it.
I remembered a thing from my childhood, and said, "You say it every week in Church, mom. 'Dying you destroyed our death'..."
"Ahhhh." She said. "I get it! I understand!"
It was a good moment. And it opened the way for me to ask the question I'd wanted to ask in the beginning. "Why are you here?"
She said, "To glorify God."
"Ok," says I, "A soul can glorify God. Why do you have a physical body?"
silence.
Finally, she replied, "I never really thought about it."
I offered, "God gave you a body for a reason. What was it?"
"Well... God made us in His own image..." She began. "And he gave us a soul, and power over the earth."
Which led me to, "Right... But why a physical body. What is it's purpose? Why not just keep us all in heaven?"
I continued, "I have thought about it. I think a physical body, and all the hardships that come with it is a gift. I think a soul, a pure soul can't experience the things a body can. Like a scraped knee, hurt feelings, mom hugs, or childbirth. I think it's a gift."

I'm not out to change my mom's religion. I want to give her a deeper faith, if anything. I want her to snap out of the fearful obedience she's had since September, 2001. I want her to believe again. And I want her, for my own selfish reasons, to see people with the compassion she once had. I want her to let go of her hate and fear and blame. These things put her farther from God, not nearer.
She could worship a pile of toenail clippings, for all I care; as long as it fulfills her. Fulfilled people are happy people. Happy people don't spread hate.

One Month Of Madness

He does this to me every year, and secretly -I love it. First it was Ash Ketchum, before Ash costumes were available. So I cobbled it together by hand. I sewed and dyed and made little badges from colored sculpey. We even found a Pokemon League hat. And everyone said, "Who are you?"
A few years of store bought costumes passed. And then it was Harry Potter, before HP got hot. A "scream" robe converted nicely to a Hogwarts robe, and a little liquid latex made a good lightning bolt shaped scar. He already had the glasses, so all we needed was a bit of tape. Again, nobody knew who he was; but it was worth it to hear my 4th grader say, "I'm Harry Potter! Don't you read?"
He's been a knight in shining plastic armor 3 times -once with me as the dragon. Thank you Persephone, for sewing that awful red pleather. I couldn't have done it without you!
Last year he was Gambit. Persephone saved me again by making the modified trench coat. I made the headpiece, breastplate and boots. And everything but the coat fell apart. Well, at least Persephone knows how to make a costume. :)
This year he wants to be (brace yourself)...
Han Solo.
Guess what I can't find to buy?
Han Solo.
I get to make the whole thing, from blaster to boots. So I need leather, sheet aluminium, a toy gun that can be modified, paint and fabric. Thank you L, for the challenges you present me!
Every year I get to learn a whole new skill. I think it's the primary joy of being a stay home mom. I've promised myself that I will not ask Persephone for help this year. She has 3 children of her own to make costumes for. I feel guilty yet relieved every year she comes to my rescue. She has been generous beyond measure, and I appreciate every bit of it.