Snarking the State Of the Union
The road trip story is funny, this one's just bitter :p

Before I get into the body count, I'm going to express my support for the Democrats who disrupted Bush's speech with a standing ovation when he said, "Key provisions of the Patriot Act are set to expire next year." It was lovely seeing him open his mouth to go on, only to be stopped by a smattering of applause that grew and grew. The camera panned out so we could see the minority section of Congress on their feet and making a statement.

The Body Count

references to terror or terrorists= 20
references to killers, killing or killed= 11
references to war= 10
references to 9/11= 3
references to Osama Bin Laden= 0

Congratulatory back-patting, and reminders of his greatness:

"Because of American leadership and resolve, the world is changing for the better. Last month, the leader of Libya voluntarily pledged to disclose and dismantle all of his regime's weapons of mass destruction programmes, including a uranium enrichment project for nuclear weapons. Colonel Gaddaffi correctly judged that his country would be better off, and far more secure, without weapons of mass murder."

"When I came to this rostrum on September 20th, 2001, I brought the police shield of a fallen officer, my reminder of lives that ended, and a task that does not end. I gave to you and to all Americans my complete commitment to securing our country and defeating our enemies."

"I have had the honour of meeting our servicemen and women at many posts, from the deck of a carrier in the Pacific, to a mess hall in Baghdad."

"Last month a girl in Lincoln, Rhode Island, sent me a letter. It began: "Dear George W Bush. If there is anything you know I, Ashley Pearson age 10, can do to help anyone, please send me a letter and tell me what I can do to save our country." She added this PS: "If you can send a letter to the troops, please put 'Ashley Pearson believes in you.' "

Outright Lies

"The American economy is growing stronger. The tax relief you passed is working."
"You are raising the standards of our public schools"
"Our closest allies have been unwavering."
"Had we failed to act, Security Council resolutions on Iraq would have been revealed as empty threats, weakening the United Nations and encouraging defiance by dictators around the world."
"And because you acted to stimulate our economy with tax relief, this economy is strong, and growing stronger."
"The pace of economic growth in the third quarter of 2003 was the fastest in nearly 20 years. New home construction, the highest in almost 20 years. Home ownership rates the highest ever. Manufacturing activity is increasing. Inflation is low. Interest rates are low. Exports are growing. Productivity is high. And jobs are on the rise."
"We are providing more funding for our schools, a 36% increase since 2001. We are requiring higher standards. We are regularly testing every child on the fundamentals. We are reporting results to parents, and making sure they have better options when schools are not performing. We are making progress toward excellence for every child."

Scary Stuff
I'm not even going there right now.