Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Yellow Kitty is in kidney failure. It can come on very suddenly, which it did. It's most common in persians, and with Kitty's long hair, I'm sure he has a bit of persian blood in him. He only weighs 7 lbs now, which means he's lost 30 percent of his body weight. (sigh) He's being pretty lethargic, doesn't move around too much. He seems to be eating ok, and Hubby put his water cup on the floor so Kitty could drink out of it whenever he wants. Kitty has always liked drinking from that cup. He will follow it around waiting for an opportunity to stealthily sneak up and drink from it, then go skittering off into another room when he gets caught, tail in the air, fur puffed out everywhere. It's pretty damned comical!
We are going to take him to the vet every day for the next 3 days, and they're going to give him subcutaneous fluids to help flush his kidneys. After the 3 day treatment, we'll do another blood test and see if it helped. Then we'll discuss it with our son. Then we'll make a really hard decision. I wish it were more clear cut. An inoperable brain tumor = happy pouncing ground. Chronic Renal Failure = ?
He's meowing right now. I wish I knew his language. Does he hurt? Is he afraid? Blogging is not helping here.

Gods! The more I read about treatment for this, the more it breaks my heart. I've always been of the mindset "screw your own needs, think of your pet's needs" We could apparently go months poking a needle into our cat's back and giving him a camel hump of fluid. We could keep doing this, saving his kidneys, easing or relieving the pain of kidney failure until all those excess fluids accumulate around his heart or in his lungs and he dies that way.
There's a website where a cat lived FOUR YEARS after diagnosis. Her cat, Whiskers, was 17 years old when it was diagnosed.
We've only had Yellow Kitty for 9 years. Will I risk heart disease to keep him around another few years? Can I somehow justify killing him because it would be easier to move on than to care for him? Cats don't understand that tomorrow might be a good day. Cats live in the now. Does holding him down, poking him with a needle ever other day and confining his movements while the scruff of his neck fills with prescription water constitute torture? Or, since cats live in the now, will it become "now it's a bother" then "now there's a moth in the house" etc.?
I don't see which path I should take here. I hate it when I can't see a clear road.

Thanks for listening, whoever's out there reading this.

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