Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Strange night, strange morning

Last night, the very center of my forehead would not stop tingling. I was restless and scattered. This hasn't happened to me in a long time, so it took a bit for me to remember the last time I felt that way. Eventually, I was able to place it. It's the impending earthquake feeling. (sigh) I thought I'd gotten rid of that one for good. I mean I can't be going nuts whenever a fault line is nearing a breaking point, now can I?
I walled off my earthquake sense before my son was born, because the feeling affected me so badly. Yeah, when I was a teenager it was fun. I got to act all weird, point in the direction of the quake-to-be, estimate the distance, and wait for my friends to bring me proof the next day. It was something I used to make myself feel special.
But the thing is, there are earthquakes every day. I didn't key into all of them. I only pick up certain quakes. Usually ones that destroy property. It's a pretty useless gift. You can't warn anyone, they won't listen. You can't save people halfway around the world when the prescience comes 4-6 hours in advance. All you can do is stress.
So I blocked it off.

I started blocking it after the San Francisco earthquake in '89. That one was really bad for me. I spent the day edgy and irritable. I told myself it was PMS, even though I don't get PMS. By noon, I couldn't stop shaking. I wound up sitting on the kitchen floor, hugging my knees and rocking. My boyfriend was pretty worried about me. I kept trying to explain what was going on with me, but all I could say was, "Something is very wrong."
Here's the weird part. I went into the living room, figuring that If I was going to be a nutcase, at least I would be a nutcase in comfort. I mean, a linoleum floor isn't exactly the most comfortable place.
The stereo was tuned to K-SHE; and as I walked into the room, they began reporting the news. I stopped dead and listened. Some part of my brain said, "Pay attention to this." So I paid attention as the DJ said there had been a huge earthquake in San Francisco, with more than 6,000 dead. He talked about fires in the Marina, which was strange because a marina is on water and water doesn't burn. I asked my boyfriend if he'd heard what the DJ had just said. And my boyfriend said, "What? I didn't hear anything."
I tried to tell him about the earthquake, but the words wouldn't come out of my mouth. I felt a little better, though. I had something to take my mind off of how I was freaking out. I had lots of time to wonder why my mind had thought I needed to pay attention to an unimportant news blurb about an earthquake. California gets quakes all the time. No big deal.
Mind you, this was 6 and a half hours before the actual quake hit. I still didn't know what was going on. That evening, I went with my mom to her girl scout meeting. I was supposed to help the girls make oil paintings on 8x10 canvasses. We listened to the radio as we drove to the meeting, and the DJ came on and told us about the earthquake in San Francisco. (The one that still hadn't happened yet)
I pointed at the radio and said, "You see! I told you so!"
Mom looked at me strangely and asked, "What are you talking about?"
I said, "The earthquake! They just said it again on the radio! No one believes me!" (not that I'd told anyone. It had seemed unimportant until I burst out that 'I told you so' at my mom.)
My gently said, "Nobody said anything. The radio is playing music." I was embarrassed, and decided to just keep my mouth shut.
When we got home at 7:20, we turned on the TV and saw the news. I quietly asked mom, "Is there really an earthquake on the TV?" and she said, "Yes. How did you know?"
Fortunately, I didn't have to answer. We held each other and cried as the TV showed flattened double-decker bridges, leaning houses, crushed cars, and yes -a burning marina.

That's the only time in my life that I've gotten my precog through the radio.

No comments: