Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Of Historical Note
.

George W. Bush likes to talk about how Americans thought the Atlantic and Pacific oceans kept us "safe" from the rest of the world; and how September 11th was the first time the main body of America had been attacked.
Or, to use his wording:

"And, yet, here you are graduating from high school, the first high school class to ever have seen the 48 contiguous states attacked by an enemy."
-Eden Prairie High School, Eden Prairie, Minnesota, Mar. 4, 2002

He has consistently stated that the continental United States had never been attacked prior to September 11th.

I guess he learned all of American history from Schoolhouse Rock; although I think he forgot about the Three Ring Government.

I learned American history from teachers, encyclopedias, and historical novels, and even this song. Because when you're a little kid, listening to the Oldies station with your mom; you can't help but remember a verse like this:
"Well, we fired our cannon til the barrel melted down,
so we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round.
We filled his head with cannon balls and powdered his behind,
and when they tetched the powder off, the gator lost his mind."

Which segue's nicely into The War Of 1812, since that's what the song is about.

On June 18th, 1812; the U.S. declared war on the British-held Canadian provinces. Britain was busy dealing with Napoleon, and the U.S. figured this was a good time to get rid of any and all British presence in North America.
We failed miserably.

But here are some things that the President of the United States ought to know:
*Our national anthem, The Star Spangled Banner; was inspired by a battle during the War of 1812.
*The British conquered Maine. All of Maine. Took the whole province away from us.
*The British strolled into Washington, D.C. and burned down the Senate, the House of Representatives, the Library of Congress, the United States Treasury, the Washington Naval Yard, the U.S. Patent Office, and... Oh yeah, THE WHITE HOUSE.

I would say that constitutes an attack on the contiguous 48 states. George Bush lives in the White House, but he can't remember that invading forces looted the place, burned the contents in a pile on the street, and burned the building itself?
I'm sure there's a historical plaque somewhere.

If he would bother to read it, he could improve his speeches by a significant amount. He could (1) appear educated, (2) look like he cares, and (3) show some genuine patriotism.
He could talk about how Dolly Madison (the First Lady, not the bakery) stood her ground in a burning city, saving as many historical items as she could. How (like those brave firefighters on September 11th, blah,blah,blah) she stayed and did what she could after even her bodyguards had taken off. He could talk about how former President Thomas Jefferson gave his personal library to restock the Library of Congress after the war had ended. How brave citizens rallied around the city and defended it from further incursions. And how, after that significant event; Americans repelled every incursion...

But no. He prefers to forget that there was ever an attack on "Uh-mare-can" soil prior to 2001.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Um. How many states were there in 1812?

Anonymous said...

I looked it up...the answer is 17. So um...technically? He is *choke* correct.

She Dances in Dragon said...

Aaaargh! Gods in heaven and devils below, he was *right* about something? It truly is the apocalypse!
(thanks for the laugh)