People Watching at a Baseball Game

Hubby and I went to see the Cardinals smear the Astros all over the real grass in Busch Stadium. It was great. The weather was perfect -not too hot, not too cold- and we got there early! So, we're sitting in our seats, munching on garlic fries and watching the grounds-crew set up the infield. There were about 15 guys working down on the field. They got to go around sweeping all the dirt into nifty patterns, pick up any bits of dirt that had clumped, and make the chalk lines. Each task was an example of the fine art of perfection.
The pitcher's mound was worked in a spiral toward the rubber bar the pitcher stands on. Each base was swept in perfect circles. Home plate was swept like rays of the sun, then spiraled back in again. Fresh dirt was sprinkled on top of everything they had done, and when it came time to lay the chalk lines, it took every man on the field to perfect it. When they were done, the field virtually glowed with energy, and every line was crisp, clean and flawless.
The home base umpire immediately came onto the field and systematically wiped out all the chalk with his foot. It was beautiful!
I wanna be a baseball grounds keeper! I do, I do! I love all that anal stuff, and I love how it never stays perfect.

Hubby works at YMCA corporate, and they buy season tickets to give to corporate employees and donors. Last year, the seats were in front of a family from HicksVille. During one game, we actually overheard this: "I'm hotter than a goat in a paper sack." "Yeah, well I'm hotter than 2 goats in a paper sack!" No kidding. This year's seating is much better. We're on the lower portion of the third level, but it's right behing home plate. We almost got to catch a foul ball. Excellent!

There's a reason why Busch Stadium is named for beer. I'm not a beer fan. I'd have to be dying of thirst to drink one 32 oz cup 'o beer, much less three. Really, how do you quaff 96 ounces of anything in less than 3 hours? I tell you, it really puts the fear of god in you when you see people chugging the last of their 3rd tub of alcohol, then go fishing for their car keys. Look. If you're too drunk to find your pocket, then you're waaay to drunk. Oh, yes... and where are the police? Directing traffic.
I do understand, we have a couple hundred cops for the whole city, and when the game is over, you have 30,000+ people heading for home. It must be a strategic nightmare. However, I firmly believe in personal responsibility. If you're driving your family home, stay sober! If the whole clan wants to drink, watch the game on TV.

Along the lines of having no tact whatsoever- When they sing the national anthem, take off your hat, please. When the 7th inning stretch is over, sit down. Please,please,please, remember that you're moving the population of a large town into the stadium, so have your tickets ready and don't jump in the line. Hold onto your children. Personal space does not mean spread three people out across the whole ramp and walk slowly, thank you so much.

I'd like to thank Vin Diesel for bringing back the Kojak look. It's a great way to hide the fact that you're balding. We had 2 sitting near enough that we could see their scalp-stubble. They both had cute little sunglasses perched on their stubbly heads. I also got to re-live the nightmare of bad clothing from my youth. Skin tight jeans and a cute little tank top have their place. Their place is not on a middle aged woman in a size 28. If I can see your cellulite through your jeans, I'm going to be embarrased for you.

I probably sound really pissed about my experience at the stadium, but that's not so. I had a very good time, and I found it all really amusing. People watching can be a blast. People listening is fabu too. We had a guy behind us on his cell phone, trying to find a friend in the stadium. They both kept standing up and waving, saying, "Can you see me? Where are you?" See, I'd just ask them to meet me at one of the notable food stands and be done with it.

One sad final note, the saxophone player who stands at the exit and plays the theme song from the Simpsons was not there that night, so we missed out on hearing him.