It's amazing what you can't mail

I like the idea of shipping my shea butter through the U.S. Postal Service. It's cheaper than UPS or FedEx. It's generally faster, too. So I went to the USPS website and tried to find out if I could ship shea butter. I mean, it could be called "organic material" and "perishable"; so I thought I should check first.
Which led me to an incredibly long list of things that you can't mail. Most of them would never have crossed my mind. Like this:

Under 18 U.S.C. 1716, all matter that is outwardly or of its own force dangerous or injurious to life, health, or property is nonmailable (duh. But if you ship it anyway...)
The knowing deposit of such matter in the mail is a crime punishable by fine, imprisonment, and/or other penalty. (the actual penalties must be listed elsewhere)
However, certain hazardous materials and otherwise restricted and perishable matter may be mailed under the conditions permitted in DMM C020-C024 and this publication.

Ok, then. On to the list of examples. (mind you, these are examples. They can bust you for shipping anything that's not on the list -but still something hazardous, restricted or perishable)

a. Hazardous materials (DMM C023) include:
(1) Corrosives.
(2) Explosives.
(3) Flammable liquids and solids, combustible liquids.
(4) Gases (under pressure).
(5) Infectious substances, etiologic agents, clinical specimens, biological products, sharps, other used medical devices.
(6) Miscellaneous hazardous materials (i.e., dry ice, magnetized materials).
(7) ORM-D materials.
(8) Oxidizers, organic peroxides.
(9) Radioactive materials.
(10) Toxic substances (poisons).
b. Restricted matter (DMM C024) includes:
(1) Abortive and contraceptive devices.
(2) Battery-powered devices. (is it the batteries you can't ship, or the entire device? Does this mean I can't mail a hearing aid, or a watch? Or does it mean some devices are forbidden, like vibrators?)
(3) Building construction materials. (yep, you can't mail drywall)
(4) Controlled substances and drug paraphernalia. (duh)
(5) Firearms. (duh)
(6) Intoxicating liquors. (really? wow.)
(7) Liquids and powders. (What about dehydrated H2O?)
(8) Matter emitting obnoxious odors. (no used gym socks, sorry)
(9) Motor vehicle master keys. (duh)
(10) Nonhazardous liquids and powders. (why not? they're nonhazardous!
(11) Sharp objects (knives, switchblades, stilettos). (duh)
(12) Odd-shaped items in letter-size envelopes. (actually, you can mail those, but you pay an extra fee because it's "non machinable")
c. Perishable matter (DMM C022) includes:
(1) Dead animals or parts of animals. (is fur perishable? What about wool? that's part of an animal.)
(2) Eggs. (ew)
(3) Live animals. (duh)
(4) Meat and meat products. (wouldn't meat or meat products fall under "live animals", "dead animals" or "parts of animals"?)
(5) Plants and plant products. (I guess that rules out shea butter and tofu. What about paper?)

But wait!
section 215.3 says:
Restricted Matter or Perishable Matter
To obtain a ruling on the mailability of restricted matter or perishable matter, a mailer should provide specific information to the local postmaster. This information should include the following:
a. Detailed description of the restricted matter or perishable matter. (Simple enough)
b. Special precautions necessary to permit handling without harm to postal employees or damage to property. (also simple, no special precautions necessary)
c. Proposed method of packaging. (double walled tub with a cosmetic seal, placed in a ziploc baggie -just in case, surrounded by shredded newspaper, and stuffed into an official USPS priority mail package)
d. Explanation of any local, state, or federal regulations that apply to shipping such matter. (Do I have to do everything myself?!?)
e. Quantity per mailpiece and per mailing, frequency of mailing, and post office(s) of mailing. (a simple matter)

I think I can handle that. 'Course, I'm shipping some to a friend without jumping through all those hoops. Instead, I'll be going to the local post office and ask, "Can I mail this?" while looking innocent. It usually works.