Best Of Me 2005
.
The ultimate MeMe: a recap of my writings from the past 12 months (plus a bit from '04, because it's just so spot on)

2005 was the year first I snarked a Presidential inauguration. I have no shame. It was also my first liveblogging of an event. When an honor guard lined the steps and pathway before the House of Congress, I noted:
"I'm genuinely astonished that we have any military left for the parade and honor guard. I thought they were all overseas or recovering in hospitals... Or buried."
The Presidential vehical was described as:
"The limo is a 2006 caddy (with heavy modification). It looks like a cross between a hearse and a humvee. It has little flashy red and blue lights, white wall tires, and recessed grips for the secret service to hang onto. Nice.
Right now they're moving quite slowly. I expect they'll speed up as they pass the protestors."
I was wrong.
Other parade high points:
"The crowd parted, leaving two guys standing alone. Both had their back to the prez, and both were holding up little signs reading, "liar".
The crowd also kept their distance from the nutball in the full-length fur coat who was blowing kisses. yeesh."

In 2005, I described my perfect vehicle:
"a pickup truck that scavenges pollutants out of the air and emits nothing but potable water"

Last year, my son's class had to carry around a sack of flour for a week. I knit him a carrier and wrote a synopsis:
"On Monday, 3 of the babies had birth defects and needed surgery to fix their leaks. On Tuesday, "DFS" (Division of Flour Services) removed a baby because it's parent left it sitting on a desk while (s)he went to another class. The bag of flour went into foster care. (The teacher confiscated it.) On Wednesday, said bag was adopted by another student; and more babies were taken away for neglect. On Thursday, students were given the option of paying fines to get their children back, and several of the babies died. It was very sad. One was dropped, by accident of course. It died in a floury explosion of whiteness. One fell off a desk and hit the floor; suffering a catastrophic tear... And one was kidnapped, then used as a projectile on another student. The parent of the kidnapped flour baby, and the student who was assaulted are both suing. In an amazing departure from our own legal system, court is next week.
Today the students will be graded on the care of their children, and the babies...
Well...
Let's just say they'll be cookies in their next incarnation, and leave it at that."

I posted repeatedly about blood diamonds, CBC, and arthritis.

I wrote an open letter to my cats:
"I realize you were not gifted with opposable thumbs. Nor were you born with the drive to invent toilet paper. I get that your method of cleaning is connected with your tastebuds. But really. Did you have to wipe your ass on my freshly mopped kitchen floor?
And did you really need to zig zag across several square feet as you did it?

Because that's just rude."

I ranted about Raymond Burke:
"The Archbishop had other things to do that day, so we got a Monsignor instead. This was a very good thing, because I would have refused to let Raymond Burke "bless" my son. Dammit, if L is going to be confirmed, I want him to get the whole holy deal. I do not want it tainted by the Archbishop of Evil: Raymond Burke; closer of churches and warrior against St. Stanislaus. That man will die a martyr if he stays here much longer. St. Louisans don't have a lot of tolerance for intolerant, money-grubbing Archbishops. How that man made it that close to the Papacy is beyond me. But I digress..."

I wrote poetry:
"We should all be a little bit
More like Elvis
Shaking our pelvis
To our own rhythm
As we dance and sing
Our way through life

And then when we're old
And mostly forgotten
We can die on the toilet
So when our mortal coil releases
in that final purge of waste
All you'd have to do is flush"

I introduced a rant thusly:
"Sometimes I wonder if there are so many wrongs being committed in America, that people just can't see them anymore."

The latest Harry Potter book came in the mail:
"Yesterday, our postal carrier delivered the latest HP book with a smile. She wished us happy reading and went on to deliver joy to other families. I handed the box to L, who tore it open and slid out the green hardbound book.
He sat with it in his hands, examining every bit of art on the front and back covers. Then he opened it and read the insert. I knew he was doing this to drive me crazy, and I didn't rise to the bait.
I expected him at any second to rush off to his room, cackling madly, book in hand.

Instead the little shit set it aside, saying, "I don't want to read it just yet. My favorite TV show is coming on soon."
He was baiting me.
I decided I could bait him too.
See, he thinks I'll start reading the book, then be willing to read it aloud.
So the book sat between us on the sofa; neither of us touching it.
Until the Hubby-Man entered the room. He asked, "You taking a break?"
We both said, "no." Stubbornly.
Hubby-Man said, "Yoink!" and ran off to the bedroom, book in hand, cackling madly.
I followed him, then stood within his range of vision, looking outraged. The second he put the book down, I swiped it.
Mad cackling ensued.

As a result, every chapter or so, the book would pass hands. None of us have finished it yet. Each of us has our own bookmark stuck between the pages.
It's pretty funny."

In August, I sliced my foot open and got my first set of non-childbirth related stitches. Luckily, the stitches came out 2 days before the last Cardinal's game I got to see in person at Busch stadium.

I wrote about the hurricanes, and the people I knew who might be affected, and thankfully weren't. In the midst of those writings, this phrase flew from my fingertips:
"There is no instant gratification in recovery."

I bought a skein of wool to knit up:
"Then my cat came along. Hunter is a sniffer. He has to sniff every single thing that comes into the house. He sniffed the yarn trailing from my needle, then he sniffed all along the needle, then he sniffed the yarn going into the skein. He was lovin' the sniffin', I tell ya! When he got to the skein itself, he buried his kitty face in the yarn. Then he bit it and tried to run away with my brand new wool. I swear he was thinking, "Yeah, this here is MINE."

And George W. Bush called the Constitution "a god damned piece of paper"

Which leads me to these excerpts from November of 2004:
"Wednesday, November 03, 2004
God Damn You All

Damn you to the hell you believe in. And damn you Kerry for giving in so easily. You're all stupid. I hope you enjoy the world and life you've just voted in for your children. I hope you enjoy your economy. I hope you enjoy your security. I hope you enjoy your war. You asked for it. Now you have to live with it."

followed by:
"Thursday, November 04, 2004
I Voted For John Kerry, And All I Got Was This Lousy Sticker

(pic of 'I Voted' sticker)

Thanks for letting me know how much my vote means to you.

Democrats are angry. Democrats are despairing. Why aren't we rioting in the streets? Are we lazy? Or do we actually care about others' personal property? We know that trashing our own neighborhoods won't help. But look how well the rabid Republican tactics worked. Remember 2000, when they clogged the halls and beat down doors to disrupt the recount?
We need to stand up in unison and make it clear -NO MORE! America is a republic, not a theocracy. Bush needs to be impeached. (link to impeachment site)
There are legal processes. We need to use them. Impeach President Bush (link to a different impeachment site)
Write a personal letter to your Representative. If your Representative is a Republican, ask your friends in a Democratic district to write to their Representative. Articles of Impeachment are all over the internet, and it's not working. Which is why we need to write personal letters. In ink. On paper. Sent with a stamp, rather than a mouse click. If enough people demand impeachment, it will happen. It worked for the republicans when they attacked Clinton. It will work for us too. Impeaching the president served to strengthen their base. The Democrats will not strengthen their base by rolling over and showing their bellies.

I still believe in America. I still believe in democracy. I believe we can win, but first we have to try to win. We must be united in a common cause.

This is my cause, and I hope you share it with me. Impeach Bush for his crimes against his people. Help me spread the message.

Write to your Representative
Ask for impeachment
Keep asking"