The Beginning Of The Trip
Me: Get in the box.
Stop fighting me and get in the box.
The box is the only option
Me: See? That wasn't so hard
Me: We're taking a trip to Doggy World (the vet) I know, you would rather be stabbed with needles than visit Doggy World, but you get both! (maniacal laughter)
Cat: meow? ... meow? Meow! MEEEow.
Me: Keep it up and I'll start singing at you.
meow! meow! meow!
Me: Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again...
Cat: Meow! meowmeowmeoooow!!!
(musical medley of cat noise and badly sung Simon and Garfunkel ensues)
At The Vet's Office
Me: Yay! We've made it to the vet's office and we're both still making noise!
Cat: (as loudly as ever) Meow!
(We go inside)
Me: Hi. I'm here to have Friday's blood sugar checked. (looks around and counts 6 dogs and two empty seats, both of them are within slobber distance of at least one dog)
Me: (to box of cat) See? I told you we were going to Doggy World.
In The Little Room
Me: You can come out now
Vet: Good afternoon, how is Friday doing today?
Me: She's going to hiss at you.
hiss again just in case you didn't hear me the first time
Me: Also, you might need another pair of hands to pin her when you draw her blood.
Vet: Oh boy.
Me: She's not, like, vicious or anything... But she scratched Dr. Zeis last time and she never does that.
Except for shoes. She doesn't like shoes.
Vet: Ok. (closes door of cat carrier) We'll just take her back and check her sugar. (Vet looks at cat) I remember you.
Me: Yeah, she's the spawn of satan.
Behind The Scenes
grrrowl hiss hiss mrrrrr!
MrrrROW!!!! (cat scream that I can't phonetically reproduce)
Dr. Zeis: (just back from lunch) Who's putting on the show back there?
At least three people: Friday. (laughter)