Bad Meat
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I have a pretty hardy constitution. After all, my mother consistently and thoroughly poisoned my sister and I as children by giving us expired milk, expired canned food, expired everything... She wasn't being mean, and she wasn't crazy. She was feeding us what was available. If bread had mold, you cut off the mold and ate whatever wasn't blue; etc.
As a result, I can eat a lot of things that would make the average American sick. I won't go into detail here, but trust me... Anyway...

Tonight I bit into a chicken wing from a famous fried chicken place and unfortunately swallowed before I could spit it out.

If you've ever left poultry out for too long, then cooked it; but maybe not quite thoroughly enough, then left it under a lukewarm heat lamp for longer than you should, then tasted it... you would know the taste of which I speak.

And because my mom fed us so much expired stuff, I don't vomit very easily. So I thought I would need to sit and wait to see if the immunity my mom gave me as a child is still in effect.

But then my wonderous hubby-man reminded me: I still have antibiotics for pre-dental work! Woo! So I swallowed them, and I hope they'll kill off the truly nasty bacteria colony I swallowed.

*UPDATE* Either the antibiotics or my own constitution -or both, did the trick. No digestion problems at all. :D
Thanks mom!

Geek Speak
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My hubby is getting some quotes for computers and servers and such, and I can only hear his side of the conversation. So I hear things like this:
"I need a raid controller" and picture hordes of digitized barbarians trying to squeeze through an hourglass shaped "raid controller"; thus controlling the flow of their "raid".

He's going to laugh at me when he reads this.

A raid controller is, in actuality, a device that allows you to share data on multiple hard drives in such a way that if one drive fails, you still have access to all the data. Thus it has everything to do with MAGIC and has nothing whatever to do with barbarians.

Quote from hubby-man, "RAID is an acronym for Redundant Array of Inexpensive Devices or Independant Disks or some such combination of the last 2 words. Both are accepted."

One Pot Home Made Dirt Cheap Meal
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Welcome to Cookin' On The South Side.
Today we will be making chicken with taters and veggies.
Here's what you'll need:
1 big ass skillet. Mine's is domed like a wok, so I can stuff a lot of food in it; but a big 'ol fryin' pan will work just as well.
A pound or so of frozen chicken breast strips, the kind you buy in a bag at Save A Lot for $6.
A pound and a half or so of small red potatoes
Half a stick of butter
2 or 3 tablespoons of minced garlic the kind that comes in a jar at Save A Lot for $2.
1 1/2 teaspoons of dill weed
Half a teaspoon of powdered thyme
One and a half cups of water or so.
Veggie of your choice I like broccoli.
salt if you want it.

Put your frozen chicken strips in a bowl with some water to thaw 'em.
Wash then dice your taters into chunks that are an inch or smaller.
Drop the half a stick of butter in your big ass skillet and start melting the butter with a medium flame. (I cook with natural gas.)
When the butter is mostly melted, add the garlic.
Mmmm. Listen to that garlic sizzle... Stir it around a bit so it all cooks evenly.
When all the garlic has turned white, and some of it is starting to go golden brown; add the dill and thyme. Stir that around too.

Toss in your taters and stir 'em up good. The butter/garlic/dill/thyme should coat all the potatoes. Give it about 3 minutes to start breaking down the potato starches, then add the water.

Take a break to blog the recipe.

Check on your taters. There should still be plenty of water, and everything should be simmering nicely.

Take your now thawed chicken and chop it into chunks about the same size as your taters. Toss it in your skillet.

Stir it all around for a bit.

When you start getting low on water, toss in your veggies. You don't need to cook 'em down to mush -just heat 'em enough to bring out their color. About 7 minutes.

Serve it up in a bowl and share the leftovers!

Rant
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I can't keep my mouth shut any longer. What The Fuck does Israel think they're doing?!
They say they have no wish to invade Lebanon. (even though Israel has sent troops across the border to "attack Hezbollah". No... they're not invading; they're just crossing the border for a while) They say they have no problems with the Lebanese government. They say they're leaving the Lebanese infrastructure in place. And they say they're being mindful of civilians.

Yet the first thing Israel did was bomb the airports. Then the hit the roads, bridges, and bunkers that may or may not hold Hezbollah leaders. They still don't know if they hit their targets, but they know they've killed civilians -civilians from multiple countries, to boot.

Now I'm not saying Hezbollah is in any way innocent. They've been firing missiles and killing Israeli civilians too. But Israel is saying that "Hezbollah and their patrons" should pay for the reconstruction of Lebanon. Um. Really? How do they figure that? Hezbollah and their patrons aren't bombing Lebanese airports etc.

Mind you, Lebanon has been reasonably free of Syrian control for LESS THAN A YEAR. They've been TRYING to deal with the Hezbollah problem. Lebanon is a soveriegn nation and Israel has no business bombing their bridges, roads, homes, ports, airports and people.

This conflict started practically without warning, and there are tourist and visitors from countries around the world who can't fly out of Lebanon. They can't leave by Lebanese ships either, because Israel is blockading the waterways. Which leads to my next bit of ranting...

Canada. France. England. Ireland. And many other countries are evacuating their citizens as fast as they possibly can. America has (8 days into the bombing) begun to "relocate" OUR citizens. The government has told the media not to use the word "evacuation" in reference to U.S. citizens being removed from Lebanon. I guess that means they're not "refugees" when they're taking refuge in Cypress -the country they're being relocated to until they can get back to the U.S.

This is the biggest piece of bullshit since the hurricane Katrina fiasco. And like after Katrina, Bush is doing absolutely nothing about it.
Well, ok... he did one thing. He voted against the UN resolution to stop Israel and order a cease-fire. He was the only holdout.

God, he's such a shitbiscuit.

The Party
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The secret thing I was stressing about was my mom's 60th birthday party.
The coordinated efforts of my sister, myself, my cousin and my aunt brought about the most successful party I've ever been to.

My sister rented out the upper floor of Crusoe's Restaurant and chose the 'Italian buffet' option, since our mom is Sicilian.
Forget about mostaccioli. That classic St. Louis buffet dish was nowhere to be seen. (Thank God!) Crusoe's provided Chicken Parmesan, Baked Lasagna, Fettuccine Alfredo, Italian Mixed Vegetables, Marinated Italian Salad, Dinner rolls, Amaretto Cheesecake, Coffee and Tea. We also had really good spicy chicken wings and the other St. Louis classic - Toasted Ravioli.
Crusoe's makes their sauces by hand, and they know what they're doing.

My sister also ordered a specialty cake from the only bakery in town that makes it. It's a cannoli cake. If you've never had cannoli, I envy you that moment in your future when you get your first taste.
Cannoli is puff pastry rolled into a tube and stuffed with ricotta cheese, chocolate chips, and sugar -all whipped together. It usually has a marachino cherry stuck in one end. Cannoli cake is made by baking a base and top layer of puff pastry and putting cannoli mix in between, then topping it with a thick layer of whipped frosting. There isn't a lot of sugar in the frosting, because you really don't need it.

Enough about the food, though. On to the surprise!
My cousin found people from deep in my mom's past; as far back as gradeschool, and invited them. I invited her friends from work and her Legion of Mary group. My aunt and cousin gathered photos from way back in the day which my cousin and I scanned and copied to make a collage. While we were working on that, my sister was arranging a great DJ and a photographer for the event. Plus managing the rsvp's so she could have some sort of head count. My aunt also shopped for flowers and borrowed vases from another aunt, who is a caterer.
The day of the party, we were there 3 hours early; blowing up balloons and decorating. Then it was home for a quick shower and change of clothes, then back to the party.
Mom was completely surprised. My aunt "took her out for dinner" at Crusoe's, and because they were busy, they were using the upstairs, too. Sometimes they do that on weekends. Mom walked in the door; everyone screamed SURPRISE!; and my 60 year old mother almost keeled over from shock. She kept stopping and staring at people she hadn't seen in years. Meanwhile, her other sister (The one who lives in Houston) waited quietly behind the pack of people. She knew my mom would eventually spot her. And eventually she did. Much hugging and crying ensued. It was a really good party.

Jason's Gift
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Many years ago, during one of my darkest days; a magical thing happened. Someone cared right when I needed it.

I believe I've told at least part of this story before; but I skipped the last part because it was hanging over my soul and I just didn't want to recall it.

We were living in a small college town, in winter, in a trailer with a big hole under the bathtub. We showered at a friend's house. And we were perpetually short on food.
Earlier that month, I had taken my son to work with me and begged a meal from my boss because my son was hungry and we had no food. I don't mean there was nothing tasty to eat. I mean the cupboards were bare. There was no food. (My boss gave him a giant 5 egg omelette stuffed with ham and veggies and cheese. My friends knew I was worried about paying for it, so they passed the hat for me. When they gave my boss their pile of change, he presented me with a giant cheeseburger smothered in grilled mushrooms too. I ate the whole thing, and never told my husband about that guilty cheeseburger - But I did bring him the rest of the omelette)


The next time I had a day off, I was mentally making a list of what I could pack in a friend's car. I hadn't quite made up my mind to leave, but I knew I had to in order for my son and the baby I was carrying in my womb to survive. I had already visited every charity in town and discovered that if I left my husband, I could get all kinds of assistance. But as long as I stayed with him, they couldn't help me. I still find that outrageous and offensive.

Anyway, there I was, mentally planning my escape; torn apart inside; when there was a knock at the door.

It was our friend Jason. He had 3 bags of groceries for us. He had been living in a homeless shelter for the past 18 months, and he'd finally gotten a real job. He cashed his first paycheck and bought food. For my family.

That's usually where the story ends, because by now I'm crying into my keyboard. But there's more.

Jason didn't know why he had to shop for us, he just knew that it was imperative. He unloaded can after can of veggies and chili and stew while we stood there speechless.
Then he hugged me, and he wouldn't let me go until he felt that I'd accepted his gift. THEN he made me look in his eyes while he said, "I have been where you are. You can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That last bit of getting there is the worst."
And he was right. Winter was nearly over. My hubby might, just maybe, have a job offer in St. Louis. And I couldn't see a way to survive those last few weeks.

He told me that someday, I would be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel; and someone would need me. And I would be there.

He was right again. Every good deed I've done, I've measured against Jason's gift. And every one has fallen short. Until two days ago; when red flags went off in my head, and I needed to act. Someone needed food and candles and a neat wicker basket... And most importantly, a knock at their door.

I didn't consider my bank balance. I didn't think, "What can we spare?" I just did it. My hubby came home to a half-packed basket, and started adding things to it. I didn't need to tell him a dramatic story. I just said "X needs us." And he began adding to the basket. My next door neighbor saw me carrying the basket to the truck, and picked a bunch of vegetables from his garden. He didn't know who it was going to. He didn't care. He just saw a basket that could use some peppers, lettuce, cucumbers and jalapenos. He hoped my friend was "better soon".

There are people who touch you. Not with their sob stories, or their sad lives, but because of who they are deep down. It is not the hardness of their path nor their mighty perseverance, nor even their willingness to help when they are down themselves. It is something beyond mere actions through life. I am blessed to know so many of those people. X is one of them. Jason's gift has come full circle. I understand his gift. Jason knocked on my door because my family touched him.

It's startling. It's a thing of wonder, like looking at a sunset or a butterfly, or the stars. You can't keep it, you can only let it be what it is. It's not about karma or looking good, it's about doing. Just doing. No congratulatory back-patting, no compliments. (although I got both, along with a lot of thank-you's) It's not even about telling the story. You just do it because it's perfect. And like everything perfect, it's here and gone. Holding onto it mars the perfection.

Jason touched me. I will never forget him. Even without his timely gift of love, I would have remembered him. He did things with chain mail that you would not believe.

Sorry About That
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I guess I needed to vent, because that last entry was *supposed* to be about my son going on vacation; not a rant about my sister- who I truly love.

Vacation... All I ever Wanted?
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My one and only son is going on vacation. He's hopping a plane at 8 am Monday morning and spending a week with my wonderful In-Laws.

They usually have him around this time of year. It's perfect, because it coincides with my wedding anniversary. We can throw a party and we don't need to worry about L being bored or kept awake.

But this year, we're not throwing a party. Instead, I'm helping plan something secret. It's very stressful. My sister calls me at least once a day to make sure my share of the planning is getting done. She tells me what I need to do next at least 6 times before she'll get off the phone. She calls while I'm in the midst of doing what she wants me to do. She calls in the middle of dinner. I have dreams that I'm on the phone repeating, "Yes... yes... I know... I'm doing that...Right now, in fact... Yes. While I'm talking to you..."

My hair is falling out. Not that that's a huge deal, because I have a LOT of hair. So no one will notice.

My son will be gone for a week, and that week will be spent preparing a surprise. All that's left is easy secret thing, flowers, decorations, and getting an RSVP from every single person on the invitation list. Every Single Person MUST respond with a "yes" or "no" or else my sister will keep calling me.

So please, for the sake of my hair; use those pre-addressed and pre-stamped RSVP cards. PLEASE!

Hubby-Man
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My poor hubby. He's so tired. He's doing upgrades at a bunch of branches. All last week he visited different branches at 9:00 pm (closing time) and did hands on stuff; then he came home and stayed up 'til sunrise checking data flow and writing programming code.

To be honest, I don't know what he is doing, but it involves 2 monitors and streams of text running up the screens. When the text stops moving, he types. Sometimes he stops the text mid-flow and types alot.
He seems to enjoy it.

When he's done, he goes to bed. He gets up around 1:00 pm, goes to Corporate and does his regular work. He comes home at 5, takes a "power nap" until dinner; then the whole thing starts over again.

Last night (Monday morning), something went wrong. He had to visit the offending branch at opening time to reboot the system or something. The branch opens at 5 am and is 35 miles from here.
Since 5 am was only 2 hours away, he just stayed awake. By the time he got home, he'd been awake for 22 hours. So he left a message with his boss explaining that he wouldn't be at Corporate today. At 8:30 his cell phone rang. The part-time IT guy needed some help. So my groggy hubby-man gave him tech support and went back to bed. A while later the phone rang again. I think it rang a third time. I'm not sure. I do remember my hubby saying, "Can't you put it on hold? You'll have to put it on hold. I've been awake for 22 hours. It will have to wait."

And my hubby almost never makes IT people wait. He's been there himself. He knows how much it sucks to have some higher-up tell you it'll have to wait because what they're doing is more important than what you're doing. Especially when the IT department consists of a handful of people.
There's the President of the IT department. The AS400 Goddess and Hubby-Man, Grasshopper (You learn quickly, grasshopper... Soon you will be a master), and one part-time guy. These 5 people (and any assistants the AS400 Goddess has) are the glue that holds the network together. A network of 20+ branches and a resort/summer camp. Although the resort does have their own IT person on an outside contract.

The hubby-man has another week's worth of upgrades, and the whole house has switched to his sleeping schedule. I stay up 'til the birds sing; fetching drinks, rubbing his neck, and just sitting next to him so that he isn't working alone. I suppose that makes me a nice wife; but really, I couldn't see it any other way. Of course I'll be by his side. I fit there nicely.

So I've been told I have to blog...

I have so much to say, that I'm not sure where to begin. Consider this a catch-up entry.

After much heartbreak, we withdrew L from CBC. It's a fabulous school. It was his home. And he didn't step up and work for it. He failed his favorite class All year long.
It breaks my heart because the school was such a perfect fit for him. And he couldn't or wouldn't turn in assignments. He had real friends. For the first time ever. Not just acquaintances. I'm so sad.

We really broke our budget paying for CBC. Because I'd cut my foot, I was temporarily disabled. The made me really depressed. It took an act of intervention from my friend Amy before I saw it. Gee. No wonder I wasn't getting hired for the jobs I applied for.
By the end of the school year, our credit cards were maxed out - we were bouncing checks every pay period - and I was on anti-depressants.

Don't get me started on the anti-depressants. I hate unnecessary medicine. But you know what? My periods have become regular. I feel like myself again. And best of all, my mitral valve prolapse symptoms have decreased dramatically. That alone makes it worth it.

Now if only I could finish regrowing the nerves in my foot. Which leads to the story of how I almost killed 3 people.
I get sporadic random pains in the "numb" part of my foot. This is because the nerves are growing and making connections and testing themselves out. The sensations aren't always pain (sometimes it tickles or feels like warm water trickling down my toe) but they're always intense. Sometimes overwhelmingly so. When this happens, I kind of fade out of reality. I keep going, my brain isn't recording anything.
So there I was, driving down the highway... There was construction up ahead. I knew it was coming in a couple of miles. And then there was pain in my foot.
And then, there were all these construction vehicles and a cop car 500 yards in front of me. They weren't moving, and I was cruising at 60 miles an hour.
I slammed on my brakes and stopped about 50 feet from the cop. Screeching tires and everything. The cop signaled for me to pull over. Which I did. Thinking, "I'm so busted. My driver's license is expired. The tags are out of date. I haven't even paid for the inspection. I wonder what jail is like?"
The cop was just as rattled as I was. I had no explanation for phasing out like that, and I was in shock over the thought that I could have killed my son, a police officer, and (oh yeah,) myself too.
I gave the officer my expired license and my up-to-date insurance card, and he let me go; telling me to pay better attention. He didn't even say anything about my license or tags. Like I said, he was rattled. I feel bad about scaring him.

Now, about my hubby. He has degenerative disk disease in his c6 and c7 vertebrae. He has chronic pain. He takes percoset and valium to help. Normally, he refills every 6 months (when he could refill at 3) and gets rid of the old stuff. But this spring, he almost ran out before it was time for a refill. So he talked to our doctor and got a tens unit. It's an electrical stimulation device for therapy.
Oh. My. God. It works so well! AND it works on my foot! When the nerve pain is excruciating, I put a lead on the ball of my foot and another on my heel, and it completely blocks the pain! GONE! Until I take the leads off.

Also, the hubby-man had a little zit on his face. A few days later, it was a mole. Within a week or so, it was a mole with crusty white stuff on the end, like dead skin. Only it was hard like a finger nail.
It wasn't a zit or a mole, it was keratoacanthoma. Cancer of a hair follicle.
Let me say that again, because I know it sounds insane. Hair follicle cancer. A single hair follicle can become a tumor. Wow. Who knew?
He had it removed by a plastic surgeon, and there's no worries. Apparently, people with heavy acne scarring or sun damage can get this. It happens more in men, and it usually happens after a trauma -like nick themselves shaving. Weird.